School, Pranks, Drugs and Work: Sampled

Sampled

By zachhewett - 02/02/2016 22:53 - United States - Birmingham

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 2 855

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 402

You deserved it 6 438

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 903

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 494

You deserved it 3 681

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 899

You deserved it 2 127

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 171

You deserved it 2 796

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 18 508

By gross - 15/07/2016 03:06 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 678

You deserved it 1 401

By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 387

You deserved it 26 468

By Worstjob - 03/03/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 307

You deserved it 4 438

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 3 205

alex_gen 38

Wednesday 3 February 2016 10:01

I hate your job too.

melbournearsenal 18

Wednesday 3 February 2016 10:33

The kid will get his cum-uppance

Comments

connoreknaust 10

Wednesday 3 February 2016 19:42

Thats why you have to do the oil change! No noone else likes Blue Mountain State? Ok ill just shut up now.

Everyone_Is_Mad_fml 5

Wednesday 3 February 2016 20:20

lmfao! Anyone doing this drug testing deserves this. I looked like a hoodlum in high school, always chosen to be tested every time... I always felt like being an add hole in some way. Clever kid. Sincerely, Army Veteran.

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:43

When I was randomly pee tested in the Army, coincidentally right after coming back from a Lollapalooza where Cypress Hill played, one of the testers was always in the bathroom and made sure to watch us pee so that we couldn't tamper with our samples. Now that I think about it, every piss test I've ever taken had an observer watching for tampering with the samples. All three of them in the Army, the one random one I was selected for and the other one.

Bragi 12

Wednesday 3 February 2016 20:40

You shouldn't be piss-testing kids anyway, OP. YDI.

vanaathiel 13

Wednesday 3 February 2016 22:51

That's when you send them back in to the bathroom and loudly state that if they don't get pissing and jizzing straightened out they'll never keep a woman

myfaygobabies 3

Wednesday 3 February 2016 22:55

I find this hilarious I would totally do it

Shamo1980 1

Wednesday 3 February 2016 23:10

The Problem is that nobody has to search for drugs in other peoples fluids! Drugs are somethimg private and nobody has the right to enter your privacy!!!

SoBeSatan 22

Wednesday 3 February 2016 23:13

Wow. I guess you were his type.

Shamo1980 1

Wednesday 3 February 2016 23:14

you think so?

amccaul1976 8

Wednesday 3 February 2016 23:33

retest if you can. if he didn't pee retest for sure. if he did both be careful and wear gloves. test the pee anyway and let him be positive. easy way to get back at him.

cazza3 15

Wednesday 3 February 2016 23:36

Pretty screwed up there if you are taking urine drug samples from minors in school. Rules for us were not in school uniform and not at a school event none of the schools business. I'm from Australia and no way could this legally be done we had to be given a warning if they wanted to look in our lockers. A proper drug screen you should witness the person urinating into the cup too.