Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
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Top comments
alex_gen 39
I hate your job too.
melbournearsenal 18
The kid will get his cum-uppance
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Comments (124)
tomvertigo 17
Two things I now know for sure about Alabama... your BP gas station bathrooms are always like a walk through art exibit using fecal wall paints and your high schoolers are ass-holes.
JKPwnage 27
Alabama.
sethr_di 15
epic
flopstar 21
Honestly that does suck because yes it is nasty, but up kind of deserve it. I hate how schools can drug test minors. People have to learn that kids are going to do what they do & eventually they will grow up. But you don't need to go off & stick your nose & get some kid in trouble. High school already sucks enough you don't need to make problems at home too because obviously it's going to make problems with their parents.
Catdragon 40
Kids shouldn't be doing weed or any kind of drug/alcohol or cigs in the first place. They know it's wrong but do it anyway. There are no excuses they were taught better yet still took the risk so they deserve to be punished for breaking the law. People are still going to murder so why ruin a young murderer's life, they're just gonna keep murdering right no matter what you tell them? Rules are rules, no exceptions.
flopstar 21
Smoke a joint & chill tf out
kavank 9
Alabama too worried about what kids do outside of class. That's reflected in the education ranks nationally. I did several different drugs my junior and senior year of high school and went to college for free. If it's not drugs, its violence or stealing.
jackler92 16
These comments are punny
Jets4Life89 4
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
allforfun 23
If we had done something like that in high school we would have been suspended for a couple weeks.
narnarking 6
"that's just nassatttaayyyyy"
mishwarner 14
Why on earth are you drug testing students? America is so screwed, has the country completely lost sight?