School, Pranks, Drugs and Work: Sampled

Sampled

By zachhewett - 02/02/2016 22:53 - United States - Birmingham

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 2 855

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 402

You deserved it 6 438

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 903

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 494

You deserved it 3 681

By dragynfyre - 06/03/2012 05:37 - United States

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 899

You deserved it 2 127

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 171

You deserved it 2 796

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 18 508

By gross - 15/07/2016 03:06 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 678

You deserved it 1 401

By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 387

You deserved it 26 468

By Worstjob - 03/03/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 307

You deserved it 4 438

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 3 205

alex_gen 38

Wednesday 3 February 2016 10:01

I hate your job too.

melbournearsenal 18

Wednesday 3 February 2016 10:33

The kid will get his cum-uppance

Comments

PulpFact 8

Thursday 4 February 2016 21:20

Tell the other kids that he masturbated in the school toilets and his life will be ******* ruined

vikky538 28

Friday 5 February 2016 1:54

If i were you. I would hate that job too

zombiekiller11 13

Friday 5 February 2016 5:23

LOL what a sticky situation. Cum on I like these puns! At least I'm not a sea man!! Well I do like sperm whales!

YourDad76 9

Friday 5 February 2016 17:44

What kind of school is that? That doesn't even sound legal.

Taolan 23

Monday 8 February 2016 8:52

Why not? Got something to hide? In some states they don't even need event-oriented parental consent, it's part of the contract the parents sign to get their kids -in- public school.