By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 587
You deserved it 36 210

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I'm not sure about this, but can a two year old even reach the doorknob on the door? And if it could, why not got those things that you have to squeeze in order to turn the doorknob? (I'm not sure what they are, I just saw them at my uncle's house. They're safety doorknob something?)

plans that seem good at the time...them end up being horrible XD


I'm not sure about this, but can a two year old even reach the doorknob on the door? And if it could, why not got those things that you have to squeeze in order to turn the doorknob? (I'm not sure what they are, I just saw them at my uncle's house. They're safety doorknob something?)

ViolentBears 0

A really tall two year old can. But this is true, OP you should've just baby-proofed the doorknob instead of locking it.

My son is 17 months old and he can reach all the doorknobs. So yeah, a 2 year old can definitely reach. I agree, she should have the doorknob covers plus a gate.

obviously op didn't baby proof her doors because she's a greedy mofo. ydi for being a greedy mofo.

My daughter is 20 months and has been able to reach door knobs for quite a while, she also is able to open some of the 'baby proof' door knobs. Fyl OP.

My kids could all open doors long before they turned two. We tried the safety knob covers with the first. Adults were left fumbling to open the door until the baby came along and opened it for them. Better solution: one of those cheap hook and eye type latches high up on the door. Quick to slide up if you're in a rush but the kid can't reach it.

forgettingsunday 0

51- how the **** does that make her a "greedy mofo"? ignorant dick.

rallets 22
bowchickawowbone 0

Well at least he never ended up making a mess.(:

op made a mess though. she's in a shitty situation

hannahninjalady 0
hannahninjalady 0

51 - your picture ******* scares the hell out of me!!! I can't decide whether you are an extremely gay man or an extremely ugly woman.....

I know plenty of toddlers, my son included, who can break those off faster than you can put the damn things back on.

when i was two, i figured out how to work the baby proofing crap. its not tht hard.

I am really getting tired of seeing this "karma" bullshit. You do realise that karma, according to Buddhist beliefs, takes place after death? Unless OP did some shit in her past life, this has no relation to karma what so ever, man.

@40 geez man calm the hell down she didn't know, neither did I, and if you asked any random person off the street I bet they wouldn't either. So should she be bitched over it? No.

Agree with all three of the above responses. This doesn't even fit the bullshit "modern" version of karma. Dunce.

Acousticpixie14 6

How many times do the ignorant commentators of FML have to argue about karma? Give it a goddamn rest.

LOL how ironic, she doesn't know the meaning of "karma"

Acousticpixie14 6

well... did you get it open? if you managed to go so far as to shit yourself trying to get it open, you might as well finish what you started.

Acousticpixie14 6

I don't understand how she managed that and is calling FML. It's her own've gotta be holding it for a while to actually crap your pants without being scared or having diarrhea or something. OP, maybe you should have gone to the bathroom ohhh I dunno...when the need first arose?

johnnybagodonuts 2

^agreed. it's like she waited till she was on the verge of ******** herself, then said "ok, it's go time"

Every once in a while people get hit with that sudden have to go NOW issue that can be caused by something they ate. The OP also could have had sudden onset diarrhea.

It is absolutely possible to FY own L. Most of the FMLs on here are directly the result of OPs foolish actions but ****** up nonetheless.

I'm thinking op had diarrhea so explain how she deserved it.

ghembob 2

OP deserved it because OP wasn't watching her kid. If she actually watched her kid properly, she wouldn't NEED to lock doors so the kid won't make a mess. PARENTING, PEOPLE.

do you know how long it takes for a small child to unroll an entire roll of toilet paper and attempt to flush it down the toilet? I do. And it isn't because I don't watch my children. kids are crafty little buggers, and very quickly learn the scatter technique and know exactly when mommy is too busy to keep them in her direct line of site... examples: preparing meals, going to the bathroom, taking an important call, cleaning house, and when they are "napping". Little kids just do stuff like that... it has nothing to do with parenting skills.

Acousticpixie14 6

If OP had diarrhea, I think OP would have said so instead of just saying they crapped themselves. Also, I agree with 101. It has a lot to do with parenting actually. Decent parenting means NOT doing those other things. And yes, a toddler can flush a whole roll of toilet paper down pretty quick...but not so quick that it you were keeping a decent eye on them, you wouldn't know before it was to late. I have 4 younger siblings and I can tell you that I remember my mother never had anything special to "baby proof" the house. She just kept her eye on us. You wait to do anything extra until you either have backup or they're passed out. Parenting is a FULL TIME JOB.

Sinkhole 26

Actually, kids need time alone, just like we do. Yes, parenting is a full time job, but that doesn't mean that you have to stay behind their back at all times. A toddler is perfectly capable of playing alone in his room (assuming that the room is safe); when children spend time alone, they learn how to fill the time, so they get creative and they become more independent. Decent parenting does not mean that you have to stop doing everything to watch your child. If you were to do that, you would never cook them lunch, you would never wash their clothes and you would never even go to the bathroom. You can't always wait until you have "backup" to do the things you have to do. A good parent lets the child become independent at an early age, if you are with them all the time, there's a good chance that they'll become spoiled brats because they're used to getting lots and lots of attention.

Acousticpixie14 6

That's actually quite the opposite with the whole spoiled thing. And sure, if you need to make them lunch, you make it with them there. Since my son isn't yet a toddler, I'll reference back to my mom again....I remember my sister and I sitting at the kitchen table while my mom made lunch. Also, just because you are watching them does not mean they won't become independent. You can watch your child without breathing down their neck. If you need to pay a few bills, then set them up with some toys in the living room and pull out a laptop and pay them on the couch. If you need to clean, well that should wait until they're napping or down for the night because you don't want any chemicals out while they're up anyways. If you need to take an important call...well why can't you do that in front of your kid, it's not like they're gonna get into your personal business at two. Bottom proofing a house does nothing more than allow for lazy parenting. I can understand covering sharp corners and maybe electric outlets. Otherwise...all accidents and messes are perfectly preventable.

Sinkhole 26

I don't know why you said that it's the opposite with spoiled children. I didn't say that is something that happens all the time, but at least I gave a reason for it: a lot of children who get attention at all times, end up being spoiled. Sure, giving attention to your children makes them grow up being more confident, but I never said that you shouldn't pay attention to them, you just need to give them some time alone. It's very different to use the experience of how your mum did things and what you're doing with your own child. Sure, you remember your sister and you sitting at the table, but it doesn't mean that she never let you play alone, it's possible that you just don't remember that. Besides, I didn't say that if you watch them they won't be independent, I said that children who have alone time usually become 'more' independent. Baby proofing does not allow "lazy parenting". I put that in quotes because I don't think that giving your child some time alone is being lazy. You would be surprised at how fast children are and how little time it takes them to get in trouble, that's why you need to teach your child from an early age what is dangerous and what is not. Toddlers are not dumb, you would be surprised at how smart they can be.

Acousticpixie14 6

Children who are giving more attention are not just more confident, they are more independent. Spoiling comes from other places. Many parents who give their children attention do end up spoiling them also, yes, but the two are completely separate. I happen to know for a fact that we never played alone when we were toddlers. We were always in the same room as our mother until I was about 5. That's how she did things. And actually, toddlers who play alone usually do so because they were forced to be alone at a young age, such as sleeping alone in a crib. The child is not more independent, if anything they become more demanding because they have learned that their needs will not be met. Leaving your child alone most certainly is lazy. You can be in the same room as them and they will still feel a sense of being alone if you do not interact with them and just let them be. A toddler does not need an entire room to themselves to be "alone." Also, yes, a toddler can most definitely understand what is dangerous and what isn't. I'm not implying that they are stupid by any means. They do not, however, possess the maturity to recognize that there are some things that they should not be doing. They may no that it's wrong, but cannot cognitively make the appropriate decision.

lexxiii 17

You obviously know nothing about parenting. Children are so quick. You can literally turn your back for a split second and they will cause some sort of mess. When you're answering a phone call, what if you need to write something down and the paper is in the other room? And preparing meals, you can't be watching your child as you're cutting things unless you want to cut yourself. Child proof things are not laziness, it's taking precautions to being a careful parent to make sure when the kids run off in those split seconds, they will be safe. So either you've never seen a child, or you're a clueless parent.

johnnybagodonuts 2

.........well? don't keep us in suspense

Alex94xela 0

I laughed when u were giving a pen a *******

That fml is so last week, we've moved on.

Raise your kids, don't prevent anything. YDI

WTF does that even mean "don't prevent anything"? Do you have kids? OP's kid is two; kids that age are so well-known for wrecking shit that they are named for it. I'm a great mum and believe in teaching and discipline but I know enough to pick my battles.

What a stupid thing to say. Yeah, just let them do whatever the **** they want. Don't prevent anything.

Autoshot 9

Many of the commenters here clearly don't have children, yet ignorantly believe they know how to parent them.

TraceCase_ 19

Why did you wait so long? Haha YtotallyDI!!! You should try teaching ur two yr old not to make a mess in the bathroom. Maybe you two can potty train together!

I agree! who is the adult and who is the child here, sounds like both need potty training work