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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML?

Feel like sharing it with the other users of FML?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story passes through the moderation process, it will published in the next 24 hours.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Kids

    Mystery man

    By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

    Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
    agreeclassic 66 757
    vote type 1 3 985
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
    agreeclassic 87 065
    vote type 1 31 241
    Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML
    agreeclassic 1 567
    vote type 1 221
    Today, I jokingly told my die-hard Laker fan dad that I converted to become a Celtics fan. He responded, "Get out of my car." I'm currently sitting on a sidewalk, trying to convince him it was a joke. FML
    agreeclassic 1 613
    vote type 1 497
    Today, after seeing an old viral video on YouTube, my boyfriend started calling me Sharkeisha. Our friends thought he was implying that I'm violent with him. FML
    agreeclassic 729
    vote type 1 126
    Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML
    agreeclassic 17 471
    vote type 1 43 849
    Today, I watched the love of my life look me straight in the eye and lie to me with well-practised ease about where she spent last night. FML
    agreeclassic 1 518
    vote type 1 518
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