FYL, but... I'm just wondering what you told the mother when she called? :P

@ #1 BITCH YOUR CHILD IS MINE NOW

If the kid was that worn out then a phone might not have woken him. Not really a FYL, more of a shit happens than anything else. Otherwise next time get a recording from tv or a movie of a car chase with cop sirens and stuff. Then play that in the background when she phones and tell her "your kid is mine. The cops will never take us alive!". And watch her freak out hell out. :-P

I fear the day I become a dad. I'll probably end up insane.

Maybe... try using the phone on vibrate? I almost never have mine on ring because ringers annoy the **** out of me... I wish they annoyed more people.

Yah, my phone's always on vibrate. You should hold the phone up to the kid's mouth if it starts screaming.

ohh god i HATE when shit like that happens...whenever i've struggled for hours to get my daughter to sleep, something always happens to wake her up, like the ******* cat will come by and meow in her face. i'll punt that cat to the moon.

not really an FML. It's your fault for putting the kid down at 11, ruining his/her schedule, and giving in to what he/she wanted. Every kid tries to play their babysitter, and you gave in to their tricks.

You think this is an FML? Try having children instead of just babysitting them. I lost a $250 cell phone because I put it on vibrate so that it wouldn't wake my son up...only when he did wake up, he took it and hid it.

#7, you made me LOL, I think there's been a point in all of our lives when we've wanted to punt a small creature to the moon. As for the original, sure, it's an FML. There are different severities of FMLs, sometimes, you forget your keys inside and just mutter, **** my life, and you move on with it, other times, your grandmother dies and then its bring your grandmother to work day. Sure, this is an FML. Also, I'm very sorry, I don't see how you deserved this.