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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    Intimacy

    Party boy

    By Daemon - 27/10/2008 04:57 - France

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, after a party, I brought a girl to the flat I share with my two best friends. While we are doing it, she asked me, "You're not afraid your friends will hear us?" The only answer that spontaneously came out of my mouth was, "Don't worry, they're used to it." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 541
    You deserved it 89 294
    Share  

    By rmL - 13/10/2008 08:31

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 57 019
    You deserved it 41 623
    Share  
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    Keywords

    Family Miscellaneous Health Love Frustration Religion Relatable Awkward School Work Porn Money Cars Transportation Cheating Sex Ironic Intimacy Drunk Dentist Kids Parents Birthday Cute Death Painful I need your advice Sextoys NSFW Bodyshaming
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 663
    You deserved it 65 840
    Today, my husband found out the owner of the shop across from our shop is homophobic. Our daughter is bisexual, so he’s started Pride-themed warfare against the shop with flags everywhere. It’s a rather conservative neighbourhood and our customers have deserted us in droves. We may have to close. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 252
    You deserved it 645
    Today, I tried to reach out to an old friend. He answered the phone sounding half-asleep, then suddenly switched to an outrageously fake and racist Indian accent, and started yelling nonsense down the phone once I said my name. Guess that bridge is burned, then. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 336
    You deserved it 107
    Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished, I jokingly said, "Who's going to sleep in the wet patch?" He got up and said, "You're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing." It was my first time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 641
    You deserved it 4 546
    Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 912
    You deserved it 245
    Today, during a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 410
    You deserved it 424
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