Intimacy: Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage....

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 45 499

Intimacy

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 23:45 - United States

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 587

You deserved it 34 596

These boots are made for walking

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 05:01

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 976

You deserved it 41 993

By Anonymous - 06/10/2010 23:18 - Canada

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 677

You deserved it 38 505

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 306

You deserved it 3 401

Grossed out

By ChePow - 20/08/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 498

You deserved it 6 516

By poorclubgoer - 14/11/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 683

You deserved it 5 917

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 069

You deserved it 6 127

By hayah - 21/02/2010 06:08 - France

Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 365

You deserved it 23 389

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 09:14 - Taiwan

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 252

You deserved it 6 787

Imdead 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 21:18

Time to go on a diet bro. Good luck. It's not easy.

JenDanielle917 13

Friday 28 October 2011 22:30

Hahaha your a douche....... Hahahahaha try being nice sometime.

Comments

Imdead 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 21:18

Time to go on a diet bro. Good luck. It's not easy.

bballer55 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:36

beandipped....haha

juliahockey 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 3:30

no shit is a guy. what girls go to strip clubs? none that I know.

tkdgold03 5

Saturday 30 April 2011 7:28

winn. ^

mattrd_fml 31

Monday 30 December 2013 13:14

I know women who do...

9brggz1vboyqhb0 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:41

No, you're not a guy. Guys don't have ****.

Ohnothingreally 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 0:47

Look up "bitch ****".

brit8741 0

Monday 12 April 2010 20:05

yes they do haha

PiErC3 0

Monday 26 March 2012 1:06

r u a guy or girl and how old r u cuz im 13 and hav seen at least one guy with "man boobs"

trivel64 16

Tuesday 12 June 2012 4:38

Men do have breasts, they're normally just smaller than women's.

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 13:22

Hahahaha ... you have man boobs. Hahahahaha. Also, maybe tip more money next time.

JenDanielle917 13

Friday 28 October 2011 22:30

Hahaha your a douche....... Hahahahaha try being nice sometime.

FMcorpse 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 21:11

gee, that sounds sorta like an FML i posted that never got published....**** you, Big B

Flexer 0

Friday 6 February 2009 4:36

to #10: Please see FML Code, article #8

redroses5 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 8:43

haha I pictured the whole scene in my head. Man boobs!

zillia_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 4:57

theres a very good thing, its called losing weight, try it

Boogie99 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:54

are you going to take that from a stripper? but yeah tip more next time

socializer1 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:19

It's called working out, it prevents you from being fat.

Durf 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 8:09

lemme slap those thighs, i wanna see waves!

Keywords

Parents Kids Mental health Food Work Health Annoying Miscellaneous Cooking Gross Plumbing Surprise Cute Party Awkward Nature Dogs Animals Babysitter Intimacy Sextoys Cheating Love Holidays Insulting AITA Social Media Instagram Neighbours Sex

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You deserved it 135

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I agree, your life sucks 52 939

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Same thing different taste

These boots are made for walking

Grossed out

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