Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
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Top comments
Imdead 0
Time to go on a diet bro. Good luck. It's not easy.
JenDanielle917 13
Hahaha your a douche....... Hahahahaha try being nice sometime.
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Comments (51)
Imdead 0
Time to go on a diet bro. Good luck. It's not easy.
bballer55 0
beandipped....haha
juliahockey 0
no shit is a guy. what girls go to strip clubs? none that I know.
tkdgold03 5
winn. ^
mattrd_fml 31
I know women who do...
9brggz1vboyqhb0 0
No, you're not a guy. Guys don't have ****.
Ohnothingreally 0
Look up "bitch ****".
brit8741 0
yes they do haha
PiErC3 0
r u a guy or girl and how old r u cuz im 13 and hav seen at least one guy with "man boobs"
trivel64 16
Men do have breasts, they're normally just smaller than women's.
Dr_Phil 0
Hahahaha ... you have man boobs. Hahahahaha. Also, maybe tip more money next time.
JenDanielle917 13
Hahaha your a douche....... Hahahahaha try being nice sometime.
FMcorpse 0
gee, that sounds sorta like an FML i posted that never got published....**** you, Big B
Flexer 0
to #10: Please see FML Code, article #8
redroses5 0
haha I pictured the whole scene in my head. Man boobs!
zillia_fml 0
theres a very good thing, its called losing weight, try it
Boogie99 0
are you going to take that from a stripper? but yeah tip more next time
socializer1 0
It's called working out, it prevents you from being fat.
Durf 0
lemme slap those thighs, i wanna see waves!