Intimacy: The wrong kind of banging

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 083

You deserved it 3 945

Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Anemic performance

By too dumb for sex - 16/03/2019 22:00

Today, we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 254

You deserved it 252

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 557

You deserved it 6 201

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 811

You deserved it 26 429

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 439

You deserved it 6 813

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 571

You deserved it 8 209

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 481

You deserved it 13 089

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 86 688

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 119

You deserved it 5 105

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 730

You deserved it 20 672

arms_akimbo 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 7:50

But did you finish? Giggity giggity goo.

8ranko 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 22:17

almost hapened to me....you got do give her sugar... is fun to F*** in a car while eating chocolats :D

Comments

arms_akimbo 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 7:50

But did you finish? Giggity giggity goo.

alpuppy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 10:39

Also curious if you finished...that'd be a major turnon

8ranko 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 22:17

almost hapened to me....you got do give her sugar... is fun to F*** in a car while eating chocolats :D

2random 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:26

haha , and u kept going didnt ya ??

flyingdjs 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 3:00

rustybullethole has the best comments ever..

Stephen_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 0:10

you should've caught her

wicked_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 8:46

didn't she warn you ahead of time? if she didn't that's her own fault!

jsmith1199 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 5:12

now u have the best sex story u could ever ask for- "dude i was banging this one chick so hard that she PASSED OUT!!"

rainstorm 0

Friday 20 March 2009 2:39

i think the girl definitely had it worse. -_-

dekz 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 11:30

you need to practice safe sex mate

Keywords

Underwear Sex Intimacy Weird First Dates Love Awkward LGBTQIA+ AITA Relatable Parenting Kids Health Poopoo peepee Gross DIY Money Ableism Work Religion Revenge Abuse Argument Therapist Coffee Harassment Skincare Embarrassing Parents Family

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 173

You deserved it 3 745

Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 873

You deserved it 39 959

The Top

Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 585

You deserved it 1 195

Today, my boss told me that the company will be hiring a programmer for our department. I had the idea for the position when we went over my 3-year career path last month, but it wasn't approved. I now get to look over résumés from other people applying for my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 719

You deserved it 1 608

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 432

You deserved it 3 269

Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 019

You deserved it 201

Today, I went to hand in a job application, and the supervisor wanted to ask me a few questions. I was nervous so I kept touching the fabric on a nearby display table. Only after I left did my friend tell me it was a pantie display, and that I was fondling underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 782

You deserved it 9 182

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 748

You deserved it 5 332