Phone calls and Intimacy: My ears! - FML

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 2 688

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sex work is real work

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 573

You deserved it 2 728

By loving grandaughter - 27/11/2010 11:28 - United States

Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 951

You deserved it 2 757

There's a time and a place

By Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 671

You deserved it 4 667

By messyfamily - 19/09/2010 07:31 - Australia

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 726

You deserved it 2 856

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 336

You deserved it 36 291

By badgrandchild - 16/03/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 92 131

By T-Bear - 07/10/2015 15:02 - United States - College Station

Spicy

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 002

You deserved it 2 234

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 979

You deserved it 2 961

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 7 974

By Grandson - 01/01/2012 13:51 - Australia

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 877

You deserved it 2 745

Next

Top comments

HeatherXCore 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 1:29

I guess that's where she got her hearing AIDs! BA-DUM-CHING! =D

happygoluckyhh 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:00

Just because she's old she can't have a sex life? I know it must have been weird but you are saying that when you get over 60 or whatever age you have to stop having sex forever? No! There are many new sex toys and games such as oral or phone sex to experiment with these days. She never had those things when she was 20 so she's trying now. Go granny!

Comments

greenman_fml 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 12:57

old people scare me

necomni 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 6:16

HOT! XD

Rawr100 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 16:32

yes tis very smexy

FlavorfulUnicorn 4

Thursday 19 February 2009 17:13

That's awesome~!

Durf 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 6:12

i had a friend tell me that it's like a grilled cheese sandwich down there for old women :)

coolp3son 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 18:47

ummm.......ew?

tehman117 21

Saturday 28 December 2013 5:45

You have ruined sex for me.

Thatgirl299 15

Saturday 8 February 2014 10:57

WTF???!!!!!

Eladar 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 19:10

wheres the recording =p

Etc80 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 3:57

I didn't even know old people DID that. HAHAHA, I can't imagine that my grandparents would. But then they're overly religous. Good one, though. Hehe, FYL for hearing that.

bsaucedo 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 23:20

oh.my.god.

foxyouupp 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 5:41

cheer her on next time

RebeccaLeann 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 1:46

higfhjoigj lmao!

that_guy_you_are 0

Friday 29 May 2009 6:53

She;s coming on to you dude. Remember, it;'s not incest if she's unconscious.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 757

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 1 525

The Top

Today, I went to the bank to make a withdrawal in order to celebrate my last day here in Italy with my friends. Apparently I'm overdrawn by 187 dollars so I'm eating nothing but leftover stale crackers to survive until I get free plane food on my way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 016

You deserved it 48 004

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 222

You deserved it 2 977

Today, I had a shift as a carer in a high-rise disability home, and working with a lady whom was once a midwife. She had a toy baby, and was rocking it. When I asked her what she was going to do what the baby so she could come to lunch, she casually threw the baby off the balcony and shrugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 531

You deserved it 526

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480 580

You deserved it 70 921

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 565

You deserved it 36 936

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 417

You deserved it 3 900