Animals

By Stinkybedroom - 30/12/2009 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 424

You deserved it 3 439

Thebozman tells us more.

Thebozman 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 0:07

Yeah I'm OP, just to clear things up...I am English and 'sick' is a fairly acceptable synonym for vomit (the noun). My cat is NOT stuck in my radiator, it just puked in it, I'm 16, is it so unacceptable to have a family cat in the city? Oh, and yes, I was being sarcastic :P

By PoachedFish - 29/12/2009 10:57 - Lebanon

Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 357

You deserved it 3 059

By DOGSNACHER - 29/12/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 2 541

By dumbdad - 28/12/2009 07:30 - United States

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 279

You deserved it 3 481

By axwound - 27/12/2009 13:04 - United States

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 568

You deserved it 29 297

By Beeh - 24/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 908

You deserved it 3 428

Awkward…

By ApolloandDixie - 23/12/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 238

You deserved it 35 381

By sleepy - 23/12/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 217

You deserved it 5 944

By iHateWorms - 23/12/2009 03:52 - Australia

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 544

You deserved it 33 715

By googly191 - 19/12/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 669

You deserved it 2 495

By dog_day - 19/12/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint birthday party with her dog, because it would be the dog's "Big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 433

You deserved it 2 707

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 578

You deserved it 3 028

By ohmy - 17/12/2009 19:09 - Canada

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 577

You deserved it 27 877

By gettingacat - 17/12/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 883

You deserved it 5 625

By AnRom - 17/12/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 610

You deserved it 44 009

Bad doggy

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 587

You deserved it 4 911

By Kelsie - 12/12/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 683

You deserved it 4 084

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 373

You deserved it 5 261

By poohead - 09/12/2009 05:07 - Australia

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 154

You deserved it 30 232

By damncat - 08/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 540

You deserved it 33 347

By SeeMeInTheDark - 07/12/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 117

You deserved it 3 366

By JC - 06/12/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 554

You deserved it 9 886

By Worsttreeever - 05/12/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 428

You deserved it 3 556

By olive_costume - 05/12/2009 01:16 - Australia

Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 734

You deserved it 8 072

Caine

By dogless - 04/12/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I found my pitbull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He'd peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60-dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 300

You deserved it 6 675

No good deed…

By oops - 04/12/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 771

You deserved it 36 426

By Sassers - 03/12/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 35 042

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 898

You deserved it 7 350

By bill - 28/11/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 861

You deserved it 2 363

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 130

You deserved it 52 185

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The Top

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 501

You deserved it 1 091

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 872

You deserved it 6 332

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 317

You deserved it 8 519

Today, I arrived right on time for my train. Only problem, it was the wrong station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 197

You deserved it 8 497

Today, after working 12 shifts in the past 8 days at 2 jobs and thinking today was a day off, I got the call that I misread my schedule and I was in fact scheduled. Got off at 2:30 am, work again at 9 am with 9 shifts to go this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 469

You deserved it 368

Today, I had an assignment to make a Powerpoint of our summer, using our photos. Wanting to impress my classmates, and never having the opportunity to travel, I made one about a fake trip to NYC with pics from Google. My professor informed me that one of “my” pics of the city had the WTC towers in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 730