All the FMLs

Hi OP here, I don't know why it's showing me as male, I'm very much a female, a potato female apparently.. But I'll just add a bit more context to a very random situation, the kid who said it is one of my pupils (12 years old), she often says her random thought out loude, although this is one of the most random things she's ever said to me. She couldn't tell what kind of potato is the good kind, just that I looked like it. Some of the suggestions in the comments here is absolutely hilarious and great possible candidates for the good looking potato.

Hey, OP here. I'm a girl, so why FML listed me as a guy...I have no idea. Anyway, I'm here to clear some things up. Why we drove so far to see them was because we're both in college and we don't get to see my parents or each other often. My parents and I went out there to celebrate their engagment because we probably won't be able to see them until maybe July, and they had already been engaged a month before we drove there to buy them dinner in March. It didn't bother us so much that they got married without telling us, it's that they lied and egged us on, and had his wife tell my dad through text. They promised they are going to have a ceremony sometime in the next 5 years, but they asked us not to tell the rest of they family they're already married. So now, we're lying to the rest of our excited, curious family. We weren't there to plan anything, the topic just came up during dinner, since well, we were celebrating an engagement. We figured they married for financial aid and tax purposes (given they're both in college and are barely getting by) which is fine by us. They had already been living together for a few years and moved across the state together, so it's not like them eloping was unexpected. We just don't know why they felt they had to lie when they had the chance to discreetly pull one of us to the side and tell us in person the day before. Sorry for the book, but I hope that clears some things up!

This one's mine! Kind of weird to see it here. Anyway, the vet did several (pricey) tests to find out why my dog drinks so much and pees everywhere. The title pretty much nailed it, he's an asshole.