u raised him
In on it
Today, my 17-year-old son attempted to rob the bank I work at while I was off shift. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
female
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
fuck
United States
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Anonymous
Dumbass
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
great
Hamilton, New Zealand
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Anonymous
I can't deal with confrontation
Today, my son is so pathetic that when a tiny, unarmed 5-foot tall female thief robbed our store, he didn’t grab the baseball bat, he didn’t slam the anti-theft door on the counter closed, he didn’t even press the big alarm button, he just started crying, put his hands up, and let her empty the till. FML
Anonymous
Statham, United States
Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, a customer at work made threats against me and my two-month old son. Instead of following policy by notifying the police, my manager apologized to him and told me to leave. FML
NotYourDaddy
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
emmalou
Little shit
Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML
Pxuccy
Caught in 4K
Today, I was robbed while working overnight at the gas station. They demanded I give them all the cash in the register. Seeing they were armed, I was reduced to tears and complied. They mocked me and took a video with their cellphone. When I told my boss, he promptly fired me for not “fighting back.” FML
Top comments
ajh1800 25
And that's when you said "Dont call the cops, call an ambulance cause I'm about to kick his ass!", right?
manb91uk 22
I think he might have misunderstood the concept of ‘Bank of Mum and Dad’ somewhat don’t you think?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (16)
ajh1800 25
And that's when you said "Dont call the cops, call an ambulance cause I'm about to kick his ass!", right?
Glowworm56 27
The worse part? It was "Bring Your Kid Into Work Day."
MidnaLink 35
Did the others recognize him? Or was he wearing a face mask and removed it when he was arrested?
manb91uk 22
I think he might have misunderstood the concept of ‘Bank of Mum and Dad’ somewhat don’t you think?
ChakatBlackstar 29
That's horrible! Not only is he a criminal, but he's a stupid criminal. Bank robberies nowadays only average a 4000 dollar take even IF you succeed, which most don't due to the amount of security these days. And at a place where he's likely to be recognized too.
Mortimer14 9
Not too sure about your figures. My bank was robbed of $25,000. They are still looking for the robber two years later. I asked if they were able to slip a dye pack into the loot and was told that they are not allowed to do that (I assume some kind of law that I didn't know about).
Ladin Mars 8
what is a dye pack?
xXDemonWolfXx 13
Probably the “ robbers get pissed when ****** with and might shoot someone” law
ChakatBlackstar 29
I did say "average". Every once in a while someone does manage to be more successful than most.
RichardPencil 32
Looks like an inside job.
tonyfan00 38
At least he didn't hold you at gun point. That would have been an awkward police report!
boopingsnoot 25
It's like the inverse of a Scooby Doo episode: the employee pulls off the mask to reveal his meddling kid
Lobby_Bee 18
You have been joking about how easy it is for you to rob the bank at home?
Idream 7
Damn, that's bad! You probably shouldn't have talked about your job much at home, like :"I'm counting so much money every day..." :D