Love and School: Today, I was studying in my university library when I noticed...

By (L) - 13/02/2018 09:00 - United States - Athens

Today, I was studying in my university library when I noticed an attractive boy sitting alone four tables ahead of me. I wrote down my phone number, scrunched it into a ball, and threw it at him. He looked up, opened it, scrunched it up, and threw it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 3 675

Love School

Dysfunctional

Age difference

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

That went well

By Gigi - 02/07/2021 13:59

Today, my now ex-fiancé walked out on me on our wedding day. He decided his best female friend, whom he constantly told me not to worry about while we were together, is his "soulmate." Both of them ran away together to god knows where, while I stood there humiliated in front of our family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 69

By Disconnected - 16/05/2017 12:00

Today, I found out that it is possible for someone else to cancel my Internet, TV and phone services in two days. However it'll take me 5 days, after 6 hours on the phone, to get it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 349

You deserved it 250

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 981

You deserved it 11 953

By noname - 07/11/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 048

You deserved it 2 785

By Anonymous - 19/02/2017 01:00 - Australia - Stretton

Today, I was in the shower washing my hair when my hand ran down the shower caddy and in particular, on my razor. If I wasn't woozy from all the blood splatter around the shower - seeing the bone that connects my finger definitely did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 483

You deserved it 737

By BabyBeardy - 10/12/2009 23:05 - Australia

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 118

You deserved it 3 180

By honor sucks - 27/11/2011 23:16 - United States

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 004

You deserved it 44 931

By evenpoorer - 16/03/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 918

You deserved it 3 552

Thanks dude

By Marcus - 10/04/2021 02:00 - Norway

Today, I was driving to work when I had to abruptly brake to avoid a pedestrian who had suddenly jumped into the street. As a consequence, my parking ID was pushed in between the dashboard and the windshield. It is literally impossible to get it out before my shift starts. In other words, I'm going to get fined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 110

By Flighted - 22/09/2012 04:54 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 033

By stick - 20/10/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 329

You deserved it 171 711

By extra crispy or original recipe - 16/02/2014 22:23 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 488

You deserved it 42 742

I'm not blind

By Anonymous - 06/12/2019 20:00

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 536

Bye bye Bambi

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 19:59

Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 102

By meggs2209 - 12/01/2012 20:06 - United States

Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 866

You deserved it 2 941

By poorcollegestudent - 30/10/2009 20:32 - Canada

Today, I went to my university bookstore and tried to use my debit card to pay, but got the "Insufficient Funds" notification. I was buying a single postage stamp, which costs 57 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 149

You deserved it 9 621

By :| - 12/09/2013 22:27 - Sweden - V?llingby

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 143

You deserved it 57 558

Never in the buff

By ShyVirgin - 19/06/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a staff member entered my room, thinking it was empty. I was naked. This is the second time something like this has happened in the week I have lived here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 90

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 17:01 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, someone screwed up the roller door at work, so I had to fix it. After doing so and leaving work late, I get home to find out my dog of 14 years had to be put down. If the door didn't need fixing, I would've been able to say goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 55

By And yes, he does also believe in the Illuminati. - 11/06/2017 22:00

Today, I learned that my new boyfriend seriously thinks that Inglorious Bastards is historically accurate and is actually the secret history of World War 2 being revealed to the public. Nothing I say will make him change his mind. I guess that relationship is a goner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 036

You deserved it 357

By 'creep' - 22/04/2013 05:01 - United States - Littleton

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 917

You deserved it 7 183

Ideal location

By Garageless - 14/10/2020 05:02

Today, I live near the bottom of a hill, where there's a curve and I'm seriously considering moving, because someone drove through my garage into the ravine. Insurance says they don't cover "Acts of God." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 56

By I keep failing it all - 02/06/2013 19:45 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 857

You deserved it 3 935

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 972

You deserved it 4 104

Plop

By TimeForACareerChange - 18/07/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 2 309

By Annoyed - 04/10/2013 02:56 - United States - Accokeek

Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 392

You deserved it 4 654

By pool party - 29/05/2013 00:48 - United States - Rockford

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 267

You deserved it 58 953

By Andrew - 20/04/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 252

You deserved it 11 674

By highschoolnobody - 23/06/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I was looking through my high school yearbook. I found a picture of myself and a couple of my friends at our senior prom. The caption gave the names of all my friends, their dates who didn't attend our school, and listed me only as "guest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 478

You deserved it 2 924

By offended - 07/04/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 160

You deserved it 5 114

By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 503

You deserved it 8 746

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 610

You deserved it 7 540

By stellarshaun - 16/01/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 204

You deserved it 10 838

By ams - 13/03/2010 01:23 - United States

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 4 336

Creeper

By Anonymous - 21/04/2013 23:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 4 171

By BluesMan1990 - 16/09/2009 10:21 - United States

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 415

You deserved it 21 452

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 623

You deserved it 3 461

By bigcityfail - 07/05/2011 11:54 - United States

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 736

You deserved it 3 284

Facebook's moderation sucks

By Anonymous - 06/03/2021 07:01 - United States - Afton

Today, I got put in Facebook jail for telling a guy fat shaming a girl he was a "s*x*st b*st*rd." Immediately after, FB informed me that a person I reported for threats didn't violate community standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 296

Zedonging intensifies

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 23:00

Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 91

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Top comments

rubberduck_of_doom 31

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 15:32

YDI for throwing paper at someone. I wouldn't be happy about that either. Just go over and talk to him. Or go by and but a sheet of paper next to him on the table while passing him if you are to shy. I can totally understand that he didn't appreciate paper being thrown at him!!

arandomperson97 18

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 15:09

Your intent was cute. Your execution was misinterpreted. Better luck next time OP :)

arandomperson97 18

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 15:09

Your intent was cute. Your execution was misinterpreted. Better luck next time OP :)

rubberduck_of_doom 31

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 15:32

Mynxie 26

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Saturday 17 February 2018 17:24

Or let the poor guy study. That's why people go to libraries: to study in silence.

RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 15:37

Looks like your gaydar needs to be recalibrated.

Dave_Davington 33

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 15:57

I guess the old throwing a wad of paper with your phone number on it trick wasn't good enough. You could always try escalating to see if that gets his attention. A good starting point would be to show up at his house at three in the morning completely naked and covered in body glitter.

sunnyskys 25

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Friday 23 February 2018 2:02

Hahahaha

Glowworm56 25

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 16:33

Well if you're going to treat your phone number like trash, it only makes sense that it got thrown back at you.

DanielleinDC 32

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Tuesday 13 February 2018 18:45

Why didn't you write a nice note with your number (maybe explaining that you didn't want to talk in a library), get up, walk over, and give the note to him? But hey, it could have been worse. You could have hit someone you don't like.