Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face....

By AllergicToRosesAndSingle - 15/2/2018 01:30

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night,...

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Top comments

By ThePaperDragon | 31

#7599237 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:36

But origami flowers are adorable! :(

By RichardPencil | 27

#7599245 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:57

You should have used dollar bills as the origami paper. If you used hundreds, you’d be getting laid for months!

Comments

By Wintermelons | 19

#7599236 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:33

Someone must not have been feeling rosy!

By ThePaperDragon | 31

#7599237 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:36

But origami flowers are adorable! :(

RichardPencil | 27

#7599243 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:53

How did I guess you’d comment on this one?

ThePaperDragon | 31

#7599244 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:54

Haha! It must be the username. ^_^

donb23 | 23

#7599446 - Thursday 15 February 2018 12:08

so are you!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7599239 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:40

Real roses don't last very long anyway.

By Aurora25 | 26

#7599241 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:49

Why are you with such a bitch?

By RichardPencil | 27

#7599245 - Thursday 15 February 2018 1:57

You should have used dollar bills as the origami paper. If you used hundreds, you’d be getting laid for months!

By Slim87R | 4

#7599253 - Thursday 15 February 2018 2:49

Now is the time to throw down!
You must enter the gauntlet of rosedom and prove once and for all that she is worth the fire and fury!

Or, you know, date someone who isn't crazy.

By Moxie Mettle | 9

#7599254 - Thursday 15 February 2018 3:04

What. A. Right. Cunt. Fuck that's awesome you made those for her.

By Bubbilility | 26

#7599273 - Thursday 15 February 2018 4:29

Clearly it took OP so long to make the flowers everyone assumed he was dead. His girlfriend clearly didn't take too kindly to a ghost on her front porch.

By sharond23 | 10

#7599283 - Thursday 15 February 2018 4:56

I hope you dump her sorry ass. what a bitch!!

By tounces7 | 26

#7599288 - Thursday 15 February 2018 5:12

I mean are you just now seeing that she's psycho?