Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
Today, I was gonna tell my crush that I love her, but I found out that she has a fiancé. She kept it secret so I would carry on helping her in her studies, like a fool. She was acting like she liked me, but she never did. Now it seems very obvious. FML
Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML
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Top comments
Zachary8261 28
Break it off with your ass of a “best friend.”
ThePaperDragon 31
I mean, the fake Rose was never alive, so is as incapable of death as it is of being alive.
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Comments (32)
ThePaperDragon 31
I mean, the fake Rose was never alive, so is as incapable of death as it is of being alive.
joshszz_fml 27
How many suitors have you roasted alive so far?
RichardPencil 30
I was going to say the same thing! If she uses that little packet of flower crack that florists attach to bouquets, the girl is going to receive about a week of lovin’!
Zachary8261 28
Break it off with your ass of a “best friend.”
A Frenchy in Eire 31
That guy is not your friend, let alone best friend...
Wintermelons 19
Yeesh, that’s harsh, sorry man.
Dave_Davington 33
Well played, best friend. Well played.
campdude90 15
I hope he doesn’t get any for a really long time
jbuckets_404 38
Telling somebody whom you're not yet dating that you're in never-ending love with seems a bit stalker-ish ....
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
It worked, so who cares?
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Wtf happened to bros before hoes?
WeirdUS 29
Confessing your "love" is flat out creepy especially if you have never dated them. Also, you describe them as a crush, not someone you know well, and that makes it worse.
gramie 8
Very true. When you have a crush on someone, you are attracted to them. It cheapens the meaning of "love" when you use it for infatuations. Obviously, if she is a crush then you don't know her well enough to be calling it love. And giving a dozen roses is a terrible idea. What if she doesn't like you or isn't attracted to you? That makes it very stressful for her. If you actually cared about her feelings, rather than just your own, you would approach her in a more casual so that she had a graceful way to refuse without feeling obligated to date you.
Bloo2555 22
This is a violation of the Bro Code of the highest degree.
GMSP 18
Just set the fake rose on fire, then it is dead.