Sex and Intimacy: Nice guy

Nice guy

By anon - 19/01/2015 05:35 - United States - Burleson

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear: "Do you give head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 488

You deserved it 6 536

Sex Intimacy

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Same thing different taste

Crossed wires

By hudd357mag - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 727

You deserved it 2 525

By boom - 17/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 132

You deserved it 3 768

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 004

You deserved it 6 676

By bastardddd - 11/04/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 501

You deserved it 6 390

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 119

You deserved it 5 245

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 846

You deserved it 3 236

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 9 615

Mr. Smooth

By funkmylife69 - 23/09/2019 06:06

Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 467

Avoidance

By Kelavmeister - 17/04/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I was driving home from school when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. My offer was rejected as she said, "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway. My driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 184

You deserved it 7 002

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 08:00

Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 296

iop330 22

Monday 19 January 2015 12:37

That's when you say yes and headbutt him.

Wolfparable 22

Monday 19 January 2015 12:38

Yeesh. Sorry that happened to you. I hope you decided he's not worth your time.

Comments

tepovre 18

Monday 19 January 2015 12:36

Some guys take a while to break in, don't think about it too much, OP

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 19 January 2015 13:32

Can you elaborate, #1? I'm honestly not sure what you mean.

EverestMelting 23

Monday 19 January 2015 14:38

Like when someone asks for head, they really mean to give them head until they open up to you. Actually, that's a lie. Dome is dome is dome is dome is dome.

MzZombicidal 36

Monday 19 January 2015 15:00

Still so confused... Lol!

badluckalex 23

Monday 19 January 2015 19:57

I'm a guy and I dont even know what the hell they're saying...

Regimental_Phan 18

Monday 19 January 2015 20:20

my first thoughts to that were....UH WHAT?!

TheNotoriousHGC 15

Friday 23 January 2015 5:56

I think he is saying it can take a while for guys to "get trained."

Shamandalie89 32

Monday 19 January 2015 12:36

This reminds me of that banned Master Card commercial...

sisco2901 20

Monday 19 January 2015 15:47

This guy apparently didn't bother investing im the wine ans sweet talk, though.

Obito_Rocks 6

Monday 19 January 2015 12:37

Classy. Sorry you had to hear that, a lot of guys only have one thing on their mind's, and it's not always Spongebob :)

jojimugo 20

Monday 19 January 2015 17:17

Common misconception about guys...we have at least 2 things in our mind

horneyhic 15

Monday 19 January 2015 18:24

I have 3 things on my mind

ichdprodigy 12

Monday 19 January 2015 19:31

I can sometimes get to 4 things on my mind. Pretty rare, though.

SirMichael 13

Monday 19 January 2015 21:03

@77 bone, skin, hair and sex?

Epikatz 22

Monday 19 January 2015 21:24

Bone? You're into some dark shit buddy....

JustinJK 21

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:48

I have other things on my mind besides sex. Like food. But that's about it, sex and food

Brandi_Faith 33

Tuesday 20 January 2015 20:02

From what I understand about men it's sex, food, sleep, & sometimes (depending on the guy) gaming.

iop330 22

Monday 19 January 2015 12:37

That's when you say yes and headbutt him.

SpartanMerc 18

Monday 19 January 2015 17:24

Or not because that would be assault. You could, however, just get out of his car and not talk to him ever again...

badgercheese94 16

Monday 19 January 2015 19:53

#61, humour isn't your strongest quality, is it?

MortenM 17

Monday 19 January 2015 22:27

#4, on behalf of all guys I'd like to express our appreciation that you're trying to convince girls to headbutt us. Thanks. And ouch.

onlychildFTW 33

Tuesday 20 January 2015 21:08

The head but would probably hurt her more then him. Head buts hurt both parties and generally speaking guys have a higher pain tolerance. Though not always.