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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

#10911486
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (5980)

On 06/01/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Amb (woman) - United States

Today, someone broke into my car to steal $1.50. FML

#10908235
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34684) - you deserved it (3580)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:47pm - money - by Brokeashell - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

#10906568
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (4310)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was finally time for both of us to have sex with each other. He kept his shoes on the whole time because he thought he had smelly feet. FML

#10906300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (5482)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by smellyfeet (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

#10906033
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11735) - you deserved it (56567)

On 06/01/2010 at 11:59am - misc - by Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

#10903996
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26668) - you deserved it (5597)

On 06/01/2010 at 8:31am - misc - by girlllll (woman) - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

#10903172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (4811)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:49am - love - by staciedee - United States (California)

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

#10903041
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11448) - you deserved it (126902)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

anonbastard's comment : Why the hell would you go screaming at the driver? The people working drive-thru could've been slow for all you know.

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Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship on-line. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

#10900890
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (10641)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:05am - work - by effme (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

#10899108
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (5017)

On 06/01/2010 at 12:35am - love - by AbFlab (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (67935)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)

robinsn's comment : Most people are their first time.

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Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

#10893433
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (18652)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm - health - by Stupid_Chick - Canada (Manitoba)



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