Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML
Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
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Top comments
Kulawend 0
I think it's pretty messed up they didn't try and give you the heimlich or something...
cookieinc 0
hey who cares wut ur bosses thought breathing is much more important
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Comments (44)
Kulawend 0
I think it's pretty messed up they didn't try and give you the heimlich or something...
Carlie_McCartney 1
I agree...why would he do absolutely nothing? FYL, OP!
cookieinc 0
hey who cares wut ur bosses thought breathing is much more important
Sunbolt 0
I agree
fyour_own_life 0
I can teach you to chew **** better. Bit of a cocksucker myself. ;)
Sessee 4
Oh, are you saying that a vegetarian never choked on something? I hate vegetarians like you. If someone wants to eat meat, let them. It's none of your business.
thtsuxs 0
go choke on a salad
8WeAreYoung8 4
it's way easier to choke on a carrot than to choke on a piece of meat.
Coalke 5
**** off!
TigranPet 24
You have no filter do you?
abcdefg11233 0
and they didn't try to help you??
pikachu_01 0
#3 that's so retarded
coldplaylive2003 0
I agree with #3
FYLkid 0
Agreed with #3 Vegetarians = win Don't eat gods creations
Dante1337 0
dude. god made plants too, u dumb crap
klockworkz 3
25- agreed
Sluip 0
God created grass too, you donkey.
kittengrl39 0
Win.
ilovechocochipz 0
haha thats an lol reply
asher888 11
damn right that's a win
Guitarist45 0
and no one helped you? FYL. and #7, plants are alive too. if no one ate gods creations, there would be no life forms witin the year. thinking fail.
katied4224 0
Excuse yourself to the bathroom next time.
Musiclove4848 6
I think they were a little preoccupied by CHOKING!