Transportation: Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol... - FML

By gui909 - France

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24711

You deserved it

7268

Tweet

Share

Mother of the year

And today, on Dr Phil…

They're everywhere

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44913

You deserved it

3439

Tweet

Share

By Barry Wom

Today, my boss is out of the office and sent me an e-mail asking me to multiply two numbers together and send her the result. Apparently she doesn't know that her smartphone has a calculator app. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2492

You deserved it

166

Tweet

Share

By HolyRavioli - United Kingdom

Today, I sat at work for 8 hours daydreaming about the homemade 4 cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending 3 hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23209

You deserved it

2738

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Cancel Student Debt

Today, I paid $800.00 towards my student loans. That was the minimum payment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1805

You deserved it

384

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Woodinville

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34543

You deserved it

3673

Tweet

Share

By jake - United States - Bend

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32547

You deserved it

2765

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom - Buckie

Unmatched

Today, my girlfriend of three months broke up with me. Her reason? I'm "not interesting." I said things that might have led to a conversation, she would say "yeah" to everything. She argued about stuff I said that she didn't like; called my mates cunts; didn't let me have female mates. All her mates are lads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

853

You deserved it

228

Tweet

Share

By WasntMe

In the words of Shaggy...

Today, my husband went through my phone and computer, accusing me of cheating. Baffled and hurt by the untrue accusation, I asked what he found that made him think that. He replied, "Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" Apparently, no evidence IS evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3563

You deserved it

220

Tweet

Share

By Erik Aleckson

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1768

You deserved it

125

Tweet

Share

By dlova - United States

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10173

You deserved it

24570

Tweet

Share

By lilipalmer - France

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36417

You deserved it

3399

Tweet

Share

By Bandgeek

Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4893

You deserved it

751

Tweet

Share

By tallwoman - Denmark

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37461

You deserved it

4083

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28259

You deserved it

3098

Tweet

Share

By Newgenmom - 18/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom

Not for me

Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit eating grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

568

You deserved it

1038

Tweet

Share

By GreaseNose

Shorty-Greasy Spot-Spot

Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1193

You deserved it

506

Tweet

Share

By marysparklez - 5/3/2021 22:59

Kinky

Today, my boyfriend is once again mad at me because I refused to have shower sex with him. I’m too embarrassed to explain to him that ever since I could remember, if I don’t take my showers sitting down, I vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

396

You deserved it

99

Tweet

Share

By muffins - United States - Potomac

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45127

You deserved it

4536

Tweet

Share

By fattie4life - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42059

You deserved it

8047

Tweet

Share

By Is_This_Real - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I hooked up with a friend. I expressed an interest in it becoming something more. He expressed an interest in not telling anyone and pretending it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14504

You deserved it

2478

Tweet

Share

By My eyes were on the prize

Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5028

You deserved it

1032

Tweet

Share

By cl512 - United States

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41913

You deserved it

2321

Tweet

Share

By jynxisadouchebag - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29281

You deserved it

5785

Tweet

Share

By hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33241

You deserved it

1843

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23573

You deserved it

1707

Tweet

Share

By Drew - United States

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60475

You deserved it

4332

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16140

You deserved it

1395

Tweet

Share

By JustWashedTheseJeans

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11104

You deserved it

1878

Tweet

Share

By grovage - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5724

You deserved it

80148

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22776

You deserved it

3886

Tweet

Share

By missPiggy - Norway

Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35788

You deserved it

2227

Tweet

Share

By ahhnotoy - United States

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53059

You deserved it

14543

Tweet

Share

By monkers - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25163

You deserved it

1768

Tweet

Share

By collegegirl90 - United States

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16851

You deserved it

111267

Tweet

Share

By peteswentzbass - Netherlands - Nuenen

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28913

You deserved it

3392

Tweet

Share

By annie - 17/11/2020 00:08 - United States - Denver

Ruined art

Today, while sitting on a bench drawing, some guy went up to me, yelled, “YOUR ART SUCKS” and flipped my sketchpad out of my hands. I’d been working on that piece for hours and now there’s a big black pencil streak on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1234

You deserved it

59

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39240

You deserved it

3802

Tweet

Share

By Rizma - France - Gr?ces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34901

You deserved it

4541

Tweet

Share

By HitbyIce - United States

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31902

You deserved it

2819

Tweet

Share

By surfernerd6987 - United States

Today, I received an email from a temp agency trying to hire me. Surprisingly, it was the same job I was just laid off from after two years of great employment. They were trying to hire me at half my original salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55029

You deserved it

2598

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By identikit | 0

#4163 - Friday 20 February 2009 1:39

You know they probably would have let you use the pump first if you asked.

By thatsucked64 | 0

#61227 - Friday 27 March 2009 1:00

at least they're small tanks.

COMMENTS

By identikit | 0

#4163 - Friday 20 February 2009 1:39

You know they probably would have let you use the pump first if you asked.

Reply

saraitkddh | 47

#5724761 - Monday 21 October 2013 17:35

agree

By Sgt_Schadenfreud | 0

#25477 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:05

at #1: way to stereotype bikers.

By nafiul93 | 0

#60861 - Thursday 26 March 2009 23:15

wow your dumb
thats what u get for being too nice

By thatsucked64 | 0

#61227 - Friday 27 March 2009 1:00

at least they're small tanks.

By Vintage_fml | 0

#119153 - Friday 17 April 2009 15:09

that happend to me in subway,a dude got in and asked for a water bottle,they made him wait,when my turn came i suggested that he goes first for the water bottle,then he called his buddies to ask them what do they want for lunch

Reply

jazzmin1997 | 16

#5925791 - Friday 25 April 2014 20:07

Make that into a FML ;)

By Allan_is_Awesome | 0

#144986 - Sunday 26 April 2009 18:57

Ah, I hate it when you do something somewhat nice and get bitten in the ass for it...

By whatthehell14 | 0

#359602 - Thursday 2 July 2009 2:14

so...how long did that take?

By typicalyetnot15 | 0

#522999 - Saturday 29 August 2009 1:24

dude theres like a gas station on every corner deal with it go to another one!

Reply

Mauskau | 35

#541600 - Saturday 5 September 2009 20:52

not in france, no.
france, well, when i last went there, we had to drive half an hour to get to a petrol station which was in a town in the middle of nowhere.
most of france is farms and unused areas.
unlike america.

Reply

scrappy23 | 4

#4862423 - Sunday 26 August 2012 15:07

and if he's in the country? There definitely isn't one on every corner.

By Rach_star | 0

#631658 - Wednesday 21 October 2009 18:24

Lol, your life isn't really fucked 'cause of it though ...

By kile88 | 2

#657823 - Friday 6 November 2009 17:06

so find another servo?