Love: Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed...

By PissyPants - 20/06/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 226

You deserved it 29 356

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Same thing different taste

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 010

You deserved it 10 831

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 958

You deserved it 7 573

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 7 961

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 142

You deserved it 2 122

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 547

You deserved it 5 212

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 516

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 889

You deserved it 7 259

A real ******

By never again - 30/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 382

You deserved it 757

By ac-hoo - 04/02/2012 14:52 - India

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 734

You deserved it 3 847

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 162

You deserved it 17 258

tencentsakiss 19

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:14

Puppys also piss when excited. Are you sure you aren't really a puppy? Bad dog! Get off the Internet.

superbadd 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 13:06

mah first kiss went a little this *muah* then piss *ssss* *ssss* then piss :D

Comments

LexaDear 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:04

at least it gave you that warm feeling!

Ieat3gnomes 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:14

Win.

elmo6 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:25

u no someone has a pic of u as thier profile pic

superbadd 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:33

i think she found out on another fml

iCommentFML 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:48

Haha lol definate win 

LexaDear 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 19:19

yeah if she doesn't change it when I asked her semi-nicely I'm gonna tear that bitch down.

jpwdragon 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:04

I bet he/she thought it was hilarious and cute DW! ;)

ragdollsaally 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:04

First!

knibbsy 4

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:08

Even if you were first, it's still a fail comment that would get deleted by mods. Anyone who comments that is fail. Good day.

Igniculus 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:04

That's sad.

lolkirst 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:18

first and last kiss you going to get OP

Desperation 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:41

...Bitch.

Just_Peed 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 1:28

yeah that's pretty sad xD 

MicMic_fml 7

Thursday 24 May 2012 10:31

Oh, you're wet already?

beepelati 5

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:05

ahahahhaah loooooser ! how old are you OP?

Shokz992 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:05

Kinky.

ragdollsaally 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:06

or 5th teehee

imlagginglol 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:16

Failed again

lolkirst 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:45

44 - was that at me?

stickypoopy 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 21:24

he thought u said u were first. she ment it was the first and last kiss she will have.

yarbles 3

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:06

should have pissed in their mouth

T9FTW 20

Friday 5 October 2012 8:29

Wait.. what?!?

sensistar 3

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:07

and how old are you again?

dederahne 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:11

no ******* for you!!!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 177

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had two kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 264

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 210

You deserved it 7 272

Today, I managed to scare my wife by walking round the corner on my way to the bathroom. Somehow this scared her so bad, she decided she’s done with my shit and wants a divorce. I just needed to pee. I never play pranks on her, so how can she tired of pranks. What did I do wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 95

Today, I took out a thief using my martial arts training. Everyone thanked me, even the police. My mom spent the rest of the day moaning that if I’d minded my own business, the thief would've been gone in two minutes, but thanks to me we had to waste an hour of her day off talking to the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 106

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 080

You deserved it 21 183

Same thing different taste

Sprinkler

A real ******

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