Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning... - FML

By smartgirl - 1/5/2009 23:48 - Canada

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

83363

You deserved it

5451

Tweet

Share

White line fever

Nice neighborhood

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By Keira - 27/3/2019 22:00

Today, the modeling program I'm required to use for school started inexplicably crashing. Reinstalling doesn't even fix it. The company that owns the software doesn't provide students with tech support, and my teacher just told me I won't pass if I can't fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1971

You deserved it

118

Tweet

Share

By WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! - 9/8/2013 22:13 - United States

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41287

You deserved it

3684

Tweet

Share

By Dashofweak - 26/4/2016 16:17 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I did the math and discovered that every year, I pay the equivalent cost of a luxury car to a college that can't even keep rats out of the dorms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14799

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1542

Tweet

Share

By kellthryn - 17/3/2020 23:00

Stop! Thief!

Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1883

You deserved it

91

Tweet

Share

By blonde moment - 23/6/2019 14:23

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1112

You deserved it

496

Tweet

Share

By givemestrength - 14/8/2014 10:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39382

You deserved it

3260

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:50 - United States - Ely

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40352

You deserved it

4498

Tweet

Share

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38222

You deserved it

4433

Tweet

Share

By sykotoaster - 13/7/2009 22:09 - United States

Today, I spend two hours inside a bar talking about how I never worry about my boyfriend cheating on me when he travels for work. Everyone told me I was lucky to have such a great relationship. When we all decided to go out on the patio for a smoke, we saw him making out with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61757

You deserved it

10483

Tweet

Share

By wtffireworks! - 26/5/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34095

You deserved it

18469

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/12/2012 02:53 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26409

You deserved it

2188

Tweet

Share

By ... - 2/1/2012 06:45 - United States

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31774

You deserved it

4396

Tweet

Share

By loo - 6/7/2019 07:00

Today, I had to go claim benefits for the first time since working and paying taxes from the age of 16. I’m 50. They offered me an emergency payment of £1200, and I said no because I was too embarrassed to accept “charity.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

694

You deserved it

2337

Tweet

Share

By You'veHadTwoWeeksToTellMe - 24/4/2017 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, one hour before bedtime on the last day of the school holidays, my kids informed me that they need art smocks for school. They have no idea why I'm frustrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3490

You deserved it

322

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/9/2019 20:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Global stinking

Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1441

You deserved it

149

Tweet

Share

By frustrated - 17/8/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56931

You deserved it

7363

Tweet

Share

By munckncruncj15 - 22/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12180

You deserved it

36749

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/7/2014 00:43 - Norway - Bergen

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44620

You deserved it

3928

Tweet

Share

By Boo Boo - 22/1/2012 04:23 - United States

Today, I went to get my blood drawn to see how far along I am pregnant. The lady stuck both my arms twice and then busted a vein in my right arm. She told me to come back tomorrow to try again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31975

You deserved it

2262

Tweet

Share

By the un-loved child - 28/7/2013 22:34 - United States - Salida

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53553

You deserved it

3942

Tweet

Share

By WoWWidow - 2/9/2011 08:02 - United States

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32834

You deserved it

4419

Tweet

Share

By Andrew7847 - 22/4/2012 05:24 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25034

You deserved it

4415

Tweet

Share

By Loud - 8/9/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16435

You deserved it

8324

Tweet

Share

By hairdresser - 18/10/2009 15:27 - Thailand

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49532

You deserved it

5178

Tweet

Share

By dca101 - 20/3/2013 02:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36379

You deserved it

2909

Tweet

Share

By kernelkat - 6/11/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I found out the presentation I've been looking forward to and preparing for months only has three people registered to attend. I'll be talking to an empty room for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28558

You deserved it

2615

Tweet

Share

By babybambi - 29/12/2018 02:00

Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2262

Phew, glad it wasn't me

270

Tweet

Share

By 4gottenmemories - 8/4/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59604

You deserved it

3612

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/8/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57044

You deserved it

6265

Tweet

Share

By AnonymousAndSad - 24/4/2014 23:42 - United States - Waukon

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47608

You deserved it

7744

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/11/2013 23:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

39173

You deserved it

3251

Tweet

Share

By ish - 14/8/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

64728

You deserved it

9235

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/3/2015 14:54 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my boss chewed me out for leaving a work function early. I explained it was to avoid a former co-worker I constantly fought with. The boss revealed he purposely invited that former co-worker, hoping our fight would provide entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35341

You deserved it

2922

Tweet

Share

By SadOral - 3/7/2019 00:01

Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2339

You deserved it

788

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/7/2012 19:10 - United States - Findlay

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42615

You deserved it

9965

Tweet

Share

By Obsessed - 30/1/2010 20:54 - United States

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19588

You deserved it

82908

Tweet

Share

By Samaritan - 19/1/2010 13:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35582

You deserved it

2979

Tweet

Share

By thatgirl34 - 9/2/2012 11:29 - Australia

Today, I received my new car-seat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11269

You deserved it

18607

Tweet

Share

By FML - 29/7/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38102

You deserved it

7463

Tweet

Share

By have it your way - 29/4/2014 19:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47937

You deserved it

5042

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Tehalon | 0

#161912 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:17

Maybe you need a different haircut and start praying for them boobs to pop up.

By fretforyerlatte | 0

#161907 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:13

and no one bothered to correct him either? that's harsh.

Comments

By hilaryy_fml | 0

#161903 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:12

that sucks.

Reply

Thespade_fml | 0

#624369 - Saturday 17 October 2009 15:17

Maybe it's the fact your smart he thought you were a guy. Take it as a compliment. Or maybe he calls everbody he?

Reply

persianjr1 | 7

#1777423 - Wednesday 1 December 2010 7:34

it's a simple mistake!!! sheesh people

By DownUndah | 0

#161904 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:13

its not that hard to look like a chick.

By fretforyerlatte | 0

#161907 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:13

and no one bothered to correct him either? that's harsh.

By kristenlee | 3

#161908 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:15

Well, you should've said that "she" looked absolutely beautiful, as you accepted your award. :]

By yojoeletsmakeout | 0

#161910 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:16

Sounds like a severe case of "man, woman, or beast?" to me. Nice.

By Tehalon | 0

#161912 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:17

Maybe you need a different haircut and start praying for them boobs to pop up.

By plethora | 3

#161920 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:31

Waaaah!

By Hazimius | 0

#161929 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:44

Why didn't you say something?

Reply

RandallClark | 10

#6669707 - Thursday 11 August 2016 23:13

Because it's so embarrassing you just want hide inside a shell and don't come out for six hours.

By coloradodude12 | 0

#161938 - Saturday 2 May 2009 14:55

Haha, sounds like he'd rather be someplace else.

By FaperPairy | 0

#161944 - Saturday 2 May 2009 15:00

Ahaha. You poor thing. It's ok, I get mistaken for a guy, too. (Which kind of makes sense, even though I'm a girl.) ... Though I guess it's not ok if you're not used to it. :(

Reply

Moo_Horse | 0

#1595796 - Sunday 24 October 2010 18:33

wen i was little i ha short short hair, wore overalls, and was always mistaken for a boy cuz i wasnt very girly. but only from the back cuz i have a girly face

Reply

cadillacgal79 | 32

#6010266 - Thursday 17 July 2014 1:32

11-I think you look girlish enough to not get mistaken for a boy.