Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl...

By bluehairedfreakgirl - 01/06/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 438

You deserved it 38 671

Miscellaneous

Mother of the year

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

What a cult

By need sleep - 25/02/2015 16:53 - United States - Severna Park

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 270

You deserved it 2 326

By a.baybay - 07/01/2010 06:03 - United States

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 075

You deserved it 17 708

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 06:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 751

You deserved it 1 683

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 08:07 - Australia - Boronia

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 352

You deserved it 4 312

By JoshWontonDo - 03/05/2016 15:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to charge my phone at school by removing the socket for the fan. All the computers in the room turned off. I accidentally removed the power cables for the computers and got suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 175

You deserved it 15 021

By Dumbdumb - 15/02/2010 14:29 - United States

Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 671

You deserved it 33 113

By two-hours-to-pick-up - 09/10/2009 09:46 - Australia

Today, I was in a fancy department store. I was wearing my travel backpack. I was turning around after paying at the checkout and my backpack hit a metre-tall display covered with necklaces. It went crashing to the floor, hitting another display table laden with jewelry that collapsed under it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 994

You deserved it 10 753

By Anonymous - 27/10/2011 19:54 - Denmark

Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 325

You deserved it 27 828

By gui909 - 09/12/2008 07:01 - France

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 724

You deserved it 7 275

Down the rabbit hole of assumptions

By Not Suicidal - 02/07/2020 05:04

Today, a lady talking about the Bible came to my house. She looked at me and said I wouldn't need to cut myself if I had God in my life. Mom heard and did a thorough investigation of my body for scars. I had to bathe my rabbit last night, and he scratched me. They were from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 136

By Coldandshoeless - 08/01/2013 10:40 - United States - Hackettstown

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 241

You deserved it 6 417

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 055

You deserved it 4 829

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 313

By kelly.duggan - 21/04/2014 04:03 - Canada - Carleton Place

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 595

You deserved it 11 780

Jaywalking?

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 16:01

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, I was hit by a daycare van. After going to the police to complain, I was given a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 76

By Rowden - 26/04/2010 09:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 154

You deserved it 9 591

By (._. ) - 06/08/2013 20:35 - United States - Alburnett

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 680

You deserved it 5 098

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 067

You deserved it 8 305

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 365

You deserved it 2 468

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 22:20 - Denmark - Fredericia

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 447

You deserved it 3 640

By time to lawyer up - 20/02/2014 21:20 - United States - Forney

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 365

You deserved it 52 836

By midwesternpetclerk - 09/11/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 779

You deserved it 2 715

By stranded - 27/09/2010 05:56 - United States

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 625

You deserved it 7 630

By lexigan4 - 29/10/2014 19:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 3 730

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 23:58 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 780

You deserved it 4 028

By Dispute - 08/08/2011 05:30 - Canada

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 469

You deserved it 5 948

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 126

You deserved it 3 277

By Anonymous - 22/12/2014 07:53 - United States - Mooresville

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 2 507

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 394

You deserved it 7 025

By R - 05/09/2016 10:27 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my teacher called a friend and me out of class and told us we had been reported for plagiarism because our answers to a problem were nearly identical, and he said that I shouldn't have shared my work. This for an assignment where significant marks were awarded for collaborating with peers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 801

You deserved it 1 417

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 032

You deserved it 5 496

By hobbled - 17/06/2015 19:18 - United States

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 164

You deserved it 1 993

By Ashton Sprunger - 30/12/2011 05:38 - United States

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 677

You deserved it 3 288

By Rachel - 02/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 197

You deserved it 3 232

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 381

You deserved it 2 705

By Paul Williams - 24/06/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 313

You deserved it 4 462

By Anonymous - 24/05/2013 21:43 - Iceland - Akureyri

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 427

You deserved it 6 268

How the turntables turn

By PoorAndBroke - 12/09/2021 14:01

Today, I went to see a house for rent. The owner ended up being a person whom I denied renting to a long time ago, because I thought she was sketchy looking. Apparently she’s the CEO of a company now. She definitely recognized me and kicked me off the premises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 1 240

By hawaiiansokkrboi - 19/04/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 259

You deserved it 10 678

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, a girl called me asking for one of her friends. She wouldn't believe me when I told her she had the wrong number, and I spent a few minutes convincing her she did. After a while she said "what the fuck" and hung up. That was the longest conversation I had with a girl in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 389

You deserved it 9 020

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Top comments

redbluegreen 40

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Monday 1 June 2009 12:04

Okay, the dad's an idiot. Nothing at all wrong with blue hair. Crayon coloured hair =/= Drug user

Juggalette_623 9

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Monday 1 June 2009 12:04

Thats fucked up. I have green hair and I dont do drugs.

Shlizabeth 0

Monday 1 June 2009 12:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

dumbasspricks 0

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Monday 13 July 2009 14:11

stereotypical jerk of a father. and i hope when that girl get older she dyes her hair blue.

Lawzen_Rainbow 7

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Thursday 28 January 2010 22:54

I used to get stuff like this. I had green and purple hair

mwz777 0

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Wednesday 24 March 2010 1:11

I hope she does drugs too haha karmas a bitch.

dirtbiker219 0

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Wednesday 29 September 2010 6:22

that's what u get for bein a emo. lol

Darcon 8

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Monday 11 April 2011 13:23

LOOOOOOL

bassoonist527 0

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Sunday 18 September 2011 7:38

268- you aren't very intelligent, are you?

xSonic 9

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Thursday 8 December 2011 0:39

I used to dye my hair.....but then I took an arrow to the knee

zombiegold 23

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Friday 20 January 2012 4:28

Congratulations! You are now the 26th millionth person to use this joke on the internet!

turtlesarerad14 13

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Wednesday 11 September 2013 3:19

???!!! that joke is so old I forgot it even existed..

redbluegreen 40

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Monday 1 June 2009 12:04

Okay, the dad's an idiot. Nothing at all wrong with blue hair. Crayon coloured hair =/= Drug user

Lolpizza_fml 0

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Sunday 29 May 2011 18:56

blue hair is awesome! hes just trying to make sure his daughter does get her hair dyed...

cheezebuiscut 0

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Tuesday 31 July 2012 19:56

LolXP my friends colored there hair with markers once...That's drugs lol

Juggalette_623 9

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Monday 1 June 2009 12:04

Thats fucked up. I have green hair and I dont do drugs.

Lawzen_Rainbow 7

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Thursday 28 January 2010 22:58

(h5) for us green haired folks =D

horridromance 7

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Tuesday 2 August 2011 1:59

I have pink hair and have never even tried drugs:)

nr790 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 12:06

YDI for 'avin blue hair.

Miss_Represented 0

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Friday 16 July 2010 7:33

Agree w/ 4. If you don't want snarky comments don't dye your hair odd colors. (Got to take the bad with the good)

sannamm 5

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Sunday 17 April 2011 17:20

there's nothing wrong in having blue hair. it's close minded boring people like you who are wrong

13whatsername13 0

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Wednesday 22 June 2011 20:12

I don't agree that they deserve it but I kinda agree. I have blue hair and you do get some looks and stupid comments and loooads of little kids who point and ask their parents stuff like that, but if you let it bother you, especially enough to post it on fucking fml (which is just ridiculous, suck it up!), then that's just stupid, get used to it cause with blue hair you get that kinda shit but it's completely worth it. if you don't think so then just dye it back.

guitar43 0

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Monday 1 June 2009 12:07

I think you go to my school maybe. Anywyassss fyl hair has nothing to do with drugs unless you test it for it but even then you'd pass cuz it's blue which leads me to assume it's dyed.