Miscellaneous: Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 13:20 - United States

Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 21 090

Miscellaneous

Stalker vibes

Scarcity

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…

By Jake Whitte - 06/06/2011 13:50 - United States

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 604

You deserved it 15 719

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 17:29 - United States - Oceanside

Today, as usual, I'm stuck working in a brutally hostile work environment under my mother-in-law, who's never forgiven me for marrying her daughter. I only got the job because of family politics. Four months on, I still can't even land so much as a single interview elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 963

You deserved it 1 690

The Final Countdown

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 21:08 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I found out that I have three weeks to get better at my shitty job before we start discussing my "future" with the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 318

By mongoosemike - 07/06/2011 05:55

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 810

You deserved it 29 442

By Satan - 15/03/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 330

You deserved it 9 150

By Remember the parking brake - 06/10/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 37 004

By HidenSeek - 08/05/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 682

You deserved it 17 047

By Username - 25/10/2010 11:03 - France

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 052

You deserved it 6 561

By hopeless - 06/07/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 783

You deserved it 6 986

Occam's razor

By cheatingapparently - 20/06/2020 23:06

Today, I got an A+ on a writing assignment. My teacher asked me three times if I really did write this article myself, and didn't memorise an article from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 106

Monetize your shit life

By chap - 11/07/2020 02:01

Today, I was in an Uber with a friend I hadn't seen in 7 years. I was just catching her up on my daily life when my Uber driver decided to chime into our conversation and kindly inform me that: "[I] should be a stand-up comedian." He literally thought my life was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 198

By usmcpain - 23/06/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 861

You deserved it 5 036

By ewwww - 30/01/2017 03:00 - United States - Monroe

Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 658

You deserved it 408

By TiredMum - 16/10/2013 13:33 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 044

You deserved it 7 087

Online classes can be tricky

By Daniella - 12/11/2020 11:03 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 1 045

By horsefuck - 07/08/2015 12:51 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 436

You deserved it 6 830

Getting on

By Lexxxiii - 17/06/2021 06:01

Today, I realized that every time I play video games, my wrist and elbows always end up hurting so badly from holding my controller/handheld games. I always have to apply bengay and wear braces. Arthritis is creeping up on me harshly, and I’m still young so this sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 372

By heartsick - 24/10/2011 01:37 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 921

You deserved it 4 052

By Turbo - 17/06/2019 02:23

Today, as a truck driver, I was flipped off, cursed at, told to go to hell and several other obscenities because I was a half-hour EARLY to my delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 144

By em - 03/06/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I was working and some woman wanted to pay with a credit card. It already had a picture on the card so you don't have to ask for i.d., and just glancing at it I asked, "Oh, is this your husband's card?" She then replied, "No, that's just me with glasses and short hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 152

You deserved it 46 581

By Noname - 06/03/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 683

You deserved it 3 685

By Annoyed - 11/05/2016 01:23 - United States - Panama City Beach

Today, one of my students stole my wallet. I teach kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 363

You deserved it 1 207

By Anon - 09/01/2013 19:27 - United States - Southbury

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 503

You deserved it 64 151

By pathetic - 06/11/2013 13:04 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 946

You deserved it 22 532

Oh, hai Mark!

By SHAME! - 20/05/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 1 868

By Mommy - 26/06/2011 20:47 - United States

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 440

You deserved it 28 142

By technologyfail - 26/08/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer and all the emails from my long distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 894

You deserved it 50 928

By tantanpanda - 24/06/2015 12:44 - United States

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 409

You deserved it 1 930

By speshlk37 - 20/08/2012 02:19 - United States

Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 159

You deserved it 9 537

By Anonymous - 04/08/2015 21:42 - United States - Utica

Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 069

You deserved it 2 697

By illiterate - 17/06/2011 04:16 - Australia

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 196

You deserved it 32 937

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 00:34 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 139

You deserved it 4 226

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 11:17 - Australia

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 821

You deserved it 49 399

Not now!

By Vombride - 16/03/2021 08:00

Today, at noon, I'm marrying the love of my life. It's 4 a.m. and I can't stop vomiting and shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 65

Barf!

By TPelekakis - 08/06/2016 17:01 - United States - Kingsport

Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 710

You deserved it 1 020

By social anxiety my a** - 18/03/2013 14:17 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 630

You deserved it 4 184

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 05:14 - United States - Asheboro

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 122

You deserved it 7 461

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 319

You deserved it 6 293

By brhorton02 - 06/04/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 435

You deserved it 166 332

By Ghost - 14/12/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 378

You deserved it 2 760

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Top comments

Phlecks 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:09

Hey, fuck all of you who won't admit to crying during a disney movie. Air Bud. Right here. If you didn't cry during Air Bud then your soul is a black pile of ash and evil.

jm88 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:03

What's it like to be put in place by a little girl?

jm88 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:03

What's it like to be put in place by a little girl?

SierraVanilla 0

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Friday 12 February 2010 21:48

awe, man with feelings. so cute! (; nice FML(;

NoWayLady 13

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Tuesday 30 March 2010 15:04

tell her that ur grandma died a year ago and u just thought of it

mnbbv 0

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Wednesday 7 April 2010 18:43

Wow what a b1+ch. I agree with 386 except tell her u were hired by her father to tell her her gramma had died

mnbbv 0

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Wednesday 7 April 2010 18:44

vdj

htownlove 0

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Saturday 17 April 2010 5:57

ugh that movie sucked!

bonicr 0

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Monday 28 June 2010 4:59

Wow, what were you whimpering or sobbing OP? The least you can do is stfu while you tear up.

EddieYoung1991 0

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Monday 26 July 2010 21:32

lol that's not nice for him!

YANKSFAN4EVER 0

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Wednesday 28 July 2010 8:02

It's ok OP tell her to mind her Ps and Qs

livgasms 4

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Wednesday 29 June 2011 3:20

the start of up is so sad :( and little bits throughout I cried watching it lol

im_vale 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:04

hahahahaha xD

Isabella123 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:04

Girls like sensitive guys. So Yea I think crying during movies is no big deal. Besides I cried during HSM3. Whether it was cause of torture or that i actually felt sad though is debatable.

andrewFML 0

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Sunday 4 July 2010 0:32

hsm3?

wowthatshorrible_fml 0

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Wednesday 4 August 2010 6:12

dude ur like buckethead but with a warped face please put the mask back on

yankfan89 27

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Tuesday 28 February 2012 19:40

396-I think she is talking about High School Musical 3.

ChasinParkedCars 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:04

was her 6'7" 300lb mother sitting next to her?

DuxHuntin 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:06

Haha! You pussy!

Dukedj 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

xNephilim 18

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Thursday 26 August 2010 2:56

Did you ever see the movie? I don't think so. Because it's really sad!

__U__S__E__R__ 7

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Saturday 29 March 2014 3:27

I'm pretty sure you have no soul.

corky1992 33

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Monday 7 December 2015 8:25

Disney movies have a lot of sad moments. I'm still not over the fact that they killed Mufasa lol.

Phlecks 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:09

Hey, fuck all of you who won't admit to crying during a disney movie. Air Bud. Right here. If you didn't cry during Air Bud then your soul is a black pile of ash and evil.

Alicia_Raven7 0

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Monday 5 April 2010 6:18

i agree.

SarahBearXoX 0

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Sunday 9 May 2010 14:54

I totally agree haha I'm a pussy I cried in the little mermaid . and op that's when ask if she can lend you another pair of balls

music12 4

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Monday 13 February 2012 1:39

Dude, I'm 11 and I didn't cry during airbuds. That movie kinda sucked. And the 50 others that followed.

hilda_kitty 16

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Thursday 28 February 2013 5:30

Exactly. That movie made me cry like a little girl over a dead puppy. Up did too. The love scene between the old guy and his wife.... You just can't not cry!

krispybacon4321 23

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Tuesday 20 January 2015 15:40

And if you didn't cry when Mufasa died in the Lion King, you have no heart. I cry every time.

DarkusOmegaX 14

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Thursday 22 October 2015 12:15

Welp, looks like I have a black pile of ash for a soul.

Ilovelife07 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:09

Hey, Disney movies are sad, just be glad it wasn't the Fox and the Hound, that movie is so damn sad

adub5586 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:10

Hahaha. I agree with #5. You big pussy!!!!

jm88 0

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Friday 5 June 2009 20:10

Obviously #5 and #6 have not seen Lion King because I specifically remember tearing up watching it the first time. Granted, I was like 12 years old.. but that movie is a tear jerker.