Miscellaneous: Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of...

By ether10 - 04/06/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 128

You deserved it 19 780

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Same thing different taste

PIVOT!

By Anonymous - 02/05/2011 17:43 - United States

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 740

You deserved it 4 257

By flowerfail - 16/06/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 726

You deserved it 4 987

Move!

By patrickRafael - 29/12/2009 14:21 - Singapore

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 401

You deserved it 3 010

By Weldingtags - 28/10/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 127

You deserved it 2 964

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 126

Mommy's favorite flower

By Ouch - 10/10/2019 02:00 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 709

You deserved it 282

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 02:00 - Germany - Norden

Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 132

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 871

You deserved it 4 658

Slasher

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 345

You deserved it 6 031

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 918

You deserved it 4 558

urlifeisraped 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:09

That's how you do it balls out

Peroxide 3

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:14

I did this once except it actually was heavy and the exertion made the ass of my pants explode

Comments

urlifeisraped 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:09

That's how you do it balls out

DizzyDemon0 9

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:10

Hahahahaha. #1 is right! Balls out man!

und34d 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:10

your my hero

teamhat 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:11

taste nice?

gaby904 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:12

hahahaha this just made my day!

jer13 2

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:12

To number 7..the story is hillarious not your profile picture by the way.

Lucidium 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 3:52

To number 139, shut up, wh***.

Xero3g 5

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:13

..........You are stupid.

jer13 2

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:10

Have you seen your profile picture? I think it's hillarious! It's something I would do.

Vaati_fml 20

Saturday 19 April 2014 7:52

138 - No, he hasn't 'cuz he posted by accident.

Peroxide 3

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:14

I did this once except it actually was heavy and the exertion made the ass of my pants explode

Jade_Rothwell 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:15

So FYL and YDI because yeah, that sucks... but also.. why not just try and lift it first and *then* see if you need more strength.

KINGMARIO_fml 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:18

How did this get through, ur life isn't f****ed cuz u ate some dirt. Wow what a puss

martymcfly12 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:23

Wow your stupid

kevmeister 4

Friday 14 September 2012 6:48

You're

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The Top

Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked it over, and he asked me to come back. I guess he should have mentioned he'd had sex with someone else before I came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 302

Today, as the shop is right round the corner, and I couldn’t be arsed changing, I kept my boob tube on under my jacket. Of course, at the shop, I slipped on spilled water and as I went down the tube came down as well, and I ended up lying there with my tits out for a group of teenagers to laugh at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 519

The Top

Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 258

Today, I watched as my four-year-old niece accidentally knocked over her mom’s wine. She was clearly upset about it, and her mother screaming at her didn’t help. Later, she asked her mom if she still loved her, to which she replied, "I don’t believe in second chances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 118

Today, I went to my friend's little brother's birthday party. A few of the younger kids were hitting me with a pool noodle, and I didn't really care until a 9-year-old loudly exclaimed, "Hit her in the pussy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 668

You deserved it 1 044

Today, I learned there's no feeling quite as painful as being stuck on the toilet at 2 a.m. and hearing your dog sneak into your room and eat your dinner, all while being completely powerless to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 437

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 303

You deserved it 10 387

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 623