Miscellaneous: Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of...

By ether10 - 04/06/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 114

You deserved it 19 778

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

PIVOT!

By Anonymous - 02/05/2011 17:43 - United States

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 726

You deserved it 4 250

By flowerfail - 16/06/2009 09:13 - United States

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 720

You deserved it 4 982

Move!

By patrickRafael - 29/12/2009 14:21 - Singapore

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 392

You deserved it 3 006

By Weldingtags - 28/10/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 111

You deserved it 2 955

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 114

Mommy's favorite flower

By Ouch - 10/10/2019 02:00 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 275

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 02:00 - Germany - Norden

Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 107

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 856

You deserved it 4 650

Slasher

By Anonymous - 09/09/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 936

You deserved it 5 939

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 4 546

urlifeisraped 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:09

That's how you do it balls out

Peroxide 3

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:14

I did this once except it actually was heavy and the exertion made the ass of my pants explode

Comments

urlifeisraped 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:09

That's how you do it balls out

DizzyDemon0 9

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:10

Hahahahaha. #1 is right! Balls out man!

und34d 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:10

your my hero

teamhat 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:11

taste nice?

gaby904 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:12

hahahaha this just made my day!

jer13 2

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:12

To number 7..the story is hillarious not your profile picture by the way.

Lucidium 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 3:52

To number 139, shut up, wh***.

Xero3g 5

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:13

..........You are stupid.

jer13 2

Wednesday 14 July 2010 9:10

Have you seen your profile picture? I think it's hillarious! It's something I would do.

Vaati_fml 20

Saturday 19 April 2014 7:52

138 - No, he hasn't 'cuz he posted by accident.

Peroxide 3

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:14

I did this once except it actually was heavy and the exertion made the ass of my pants explode

Jade_Rothwell 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:15

So FYL and YDI because yeah, that sucks... but also.. why not just try and lift it first and *then* see if you need more strength.

KINGMARIO_fml 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:18

How did this get through, ur life isn't f****ed cuz u ate some dirt. Wow what a puss

martymcfly12 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:23

Wow your stupid

kevmeister 4

Friday 14 September 2012 6:48

You're

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The Top

Today, during sex I blurted out, “Oh god yes, put a baby in me!” He lost his boner instantly because he doesn’t want kids. I don’t even know why I said it, I don’t want kids either. In fact I warned him before we started dating that I never want kids, so if he did want kids he should date someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 644

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 386

The Top

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 265

You deserved it 3 918

Today, I asked my sister if she could watch my son so I could surprise my boyfriend and take him out for dinner and maybe some sexy time afterwards. He didn't even know it was our 2-year anniversary. He doesn't care, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 299

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 952

You deserved it 33 458

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 326

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 160

Today, I was ordered by our higher boss to buy 15 boxes of pizza for our even higher boss's birthday party. As I called his favorite pizza place to order, I was told to "FUCK OFF!!!" and was blatantly hung-up upon. When I tried to call again, the company number is now barred. Of all the days, it had to be April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 80