Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Matty1188's comment : Maybe you should be responsible and carry a bag or two with you when you walk your dog.
by dirtyclothess / 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm / New Zealand (Southland) / Miscellaneous
by me / 05/01/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
TaylorTotsYumm's comment : Get a crane to place the tree on top of their car.
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
voodoocheese's comment : surely you were wearing one at the time?
by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
by Username / 05/01/2011 at 4:20am / United States / Intimacy
by Steve.mc / 05/01/2011 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by rb / 05/01/2011 at 2:02am / United States / Animals
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kentucky) / Money
Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:36am / Reserved / Love
by Username / 04/30/2011 at 11:16pm / United States / Love
Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML
by Tara / 04/30/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous