by wronged / 07/08/2011 at 4:41am / Singapore / Intimacy
suchaprettygirl's comment : dump him.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
by Username / 07/08/2011 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy
by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek
insects4u's comment : luke I am your father.
by Nick / 07/08/2011 at 1:19am / United States (Illinois) / Love
MrHughJass's comment : You're doing it wrong.
by outofajob / 07/08/2011 at 1:10am / United States / Work
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
by chumleevil / 07/08/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by anonbob / 07/07/2011 at 9:28pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML
by Jessica / 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Money
by Elena / 07/07/2011 at 7:56pm / United States / Money
Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
by AgentFreshers / 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United States (Maine) / Animals
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Username / 07/07/2011 at 6:29pm / United States / Transportation