Love: Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past...

By sadgf - 25/07/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 723

You deserved it 8 839

Love

Compromises

Empathy lives

Heaven knows I'm miserable now…

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 21:54 - United States

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 403

You deserved it 3 466

By daddyrobyn - 17/04/2017 04:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I met an important figure in my line of work who also happens to know my dad, Alan. Upon meeting said person, I let my social anxiety get the best of me and I greeted him by saying, "Hi! I'm your Alan!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 382

You deserved it 644

By West - 16/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was promised that I wouldn't have to work late because I had tomorrow off for my birthday. My coworkers decided that none of them want to work late, and that I could do it. So I am stuck working late and have to come in on my birthday, which I had requested off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 202

By Ophelia - 22/11/2012 05:44 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 341

You deserved it 4 101

By apowell5 - 02/10/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to try and get answers about the numbness and tingling in my right leg. The Dr told me I was too fat for my pants, and I pinched a nerve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 559

You deserved it 40 488

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 883

You deserved it 3 619

Alas, poor Stuart

By ShouldIHelpIt - 18/05/2016 02:46 - United States - Northampton

Today, I woke up to hear dripping water in the kitchen. Thinking it was someone getting a glass of water or something, I came out to find that it was just a mouse drowning in my dog's water bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 752

You deserved it 908

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 02:25

Today, I had to attend an interview in order to keep my job, despite exceeding all of my targets for over a year. My supervisor has not reached a single target at all in the same time, yet his job is safe and not under review. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 15:01 - France

Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 532

You deserved it 25 689

By Diesel - 03/05/2011 14:23 - Belgium

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 377

You deserved it 4 572

By Anonymous - 22/06/2010 23:44 - United States

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 919

You deserved it 5 297

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 157

Backseat drivers

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 10:00

Today, he’s the worst backseat driver ever: first he demands I drive more slowly, then when I swerve slightly because he startled me, he promptly admonishes me to stay in my lane. "He"? Well, he’s not actually a person. He’s my very high-tech rental car, who won’t shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 259

By Anonymous - 14/12/2017 01:30

Today, a stranger yelled, "Non-believers shouldn't wear these!" He then took my rosary and ran off. It belonged to my dead brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 349

You deserved it 307

By suckatlifeeexo - 25/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 360

You deserved it 16 972

By I hate Walmart???? - 24/02/2014 09:36 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 892

You deserved it 41 547

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 03:02 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 925

You deserved it 16 463

By Laptop - 25/05/2010 04:44 - France

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 662

You deserved it 3 713

By yova - 27/03/2016 08:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 963

You deserved it 1 848

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 81

Pencils down

By Idiot - 16/12/2020 19:58

Today, I took an exam, for which I have been studying for weeks, I was confident at first, but then really struggled with it. I finished with about ten minutes to spare, turned to what I thought would be the end of my paper and found the first page of questions I was supposed to have answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 298

By -_- - 28/07/2013 22:58 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 696

You deserved it 7 533

By wait..what - 22/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 617

You deserved it 3 415

By Ouch - 29/07/2009 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 6 790

By Evjoel - 12/09/2016 10:52 - Bermuda - Hamilton

Today, I decided to take some local college courses to improve my résumé. I got into the physics room and a large, multi-colored sign in large print stated, "NO THROWING OR STABBING." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 179

You deserved it 762

Confused

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 23:36 - United States - Rahway

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 487

You deserved it 5 991

By oops - 02/03/2013 18:32 - Netherlands - Nieuwe-niedorp

Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 491

You deserved it 48 095

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 319

You deserved it 18 620

Freaky situation

By Cody - 09/08/2021 00:01

Today, my boyfriend left our bed at 6 a.m. to go upstairs and go back to bed with his son and soon to be ex-wife. I then had to ride in the backseat of a car for 6 hours while they talked and laughed. Not once has he asked if I'm okay or what's wrong. I've barely spoke all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 1 537

Not having a good time, really

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 02:00

Today, I not only woke up with yet another splitting headache, but I stubbed my toe and my desktop kept crashing. That wouldn't be too terrible if it wasn't the second day in a row of bad luck, which previously involved someone stealing my card info and buying gamer keys with it the day after I got paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 70

I could be happy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 00:01

Today, I got my first job offer in over a year, a mere few days after being accepted to study for my dream career. My crippling depression won't allow me to enjoy any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 114

Don't hate the playa…

By Dannikins - 05/11/2020 01:01 - United States - San Antonio

Today, the guy I've been looking forward going on a date with had to cancel due to Covid. This wouldn't have been an issue, if I didn't see him later that night posting about him at a bar with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 82

Thanks for that, dad!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2019 01:00

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 388

You deserved it 226

By StinkyDogs - 27/03/2011 10:06 - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 11 215

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 10:06 - United States - Rockford

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 48 920

By please don't get the succ - 29/06/2016 18:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a sailing instructor, I had to stop kids from getting their asses sucked by a pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 574

You deserved it 644

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 696

You deserved it 2 343

By samantha711 - 10/11/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 366

You deserved it 7 810

By uwbeautyqueen12 - 01/03/2010 19:15 - United States

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 636

You deserved it 6 548

By Sarahfizzeller - 26/05/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 3 373

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

666midnight 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:12

I'd do the same! I love dogs :D

dotsdesu 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:16

how is that a FML. there's alot more about life to complain fuck about.

666midnight 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:12

I'd do the same! I love dogs :D

bloodthorn 4

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 15:25

ydi for looking worse then a dog

kendalle_fml 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 17:35

considering that you knew where he was, he didn't just walk out of your life for months with out you knowing why, where, or how long. A dog has no idea when his person walks out of his life for months. Then when he finally comes back... its only right to hug the dog first. Or meet your guy at the air port or something!

DameGreyWulf 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 20:54

Quite agree! I know I usually spend time greeting my animals first. But, I still marked FYL because sometimes guys do things like that without even realizing it hurts your feelings, but don't look too hard into it.

Lissa_fml 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 22:31

yes! dogs > people!

Pink_ElePhant88 0

Send a private message

Sunday 26 July 2009 0:24

"Man's best friend" right? :)

hubriz 0

Send a private message

Monday 27 July 2009 4:28

Well, maybe he's had his dog for 12 years and you for 12 weeks. I'd hug my dog first. Think of it this way, it's like hugging your kids before you hug your wife. In this case, his dog is his kid.

lordbane 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 4 August 2009 21:54

A dog is man's best friend. A diamond is woman's best friend

killerpenguin4 9

Send a private message

Saturday 10 July 2010 20:17

don't get in between a man and his dog that's a relationship you don't come between

Drummerboy1234 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 10 August 2010 7:52

mans best friend.

ryanator008 23

Send a private message

Saturday 3 November 2012 12:34

Yeah, not to mention the dog probably gets this a lot.

fobchick 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:12

First!

suki987 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:14

fail. OP: that sucks = But dogs are lovable and DEMAND attention first ^^ so maybe that's why?

666midnight 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:17

fail! XD

muffintastic 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:24

Dipshit.

blalien 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:56

Wow, Firsty, you seriously need to make some changes and get your life back on track. And he's probably had the dog a lot longer than he's been dating you.

geetface 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 23:41

lmao

lovetay_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 25 April 2011 15:10

second actually

xsw33tyx101 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:14

Seen similar fml before.

RitzyHoke 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 16:33

IKR?

dotsdesu 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:16

how is that a FML. there's alot more about life to complain fuck about.

Dilwann 27

Send a private message

Friday 29 March 2013 1:37

Indeed. I see my boyfriend every 3 months since we have a long distance relationship, it's doable without making a huge scene. And people who go 'FML I didn't see my bf the whole day' or 'FML I only see him on weekends' need to shut it.

WTFKuro 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:17

You know what they say about a man and his dog.

666midnight 0

Send a private message

Saturday 25 July 2009 12:20

Also the fact dogs are damn cute when they aint seen you for ages, like wagging their tail and looking really excited, I doubt the OP was able to do that and her boyfriend just couldn't resist hugging the dog :D