All the FMLs

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie, my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely look like the Antichrist, and I'm a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 559

You deserved it 4 757

By PoorCar - 20/09/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I went on a trip to DC. When I got back I found out my car was stolen. Apparently they didn't know how to drive a stick because it was only 4 blocks from my house and the engine was blown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 308

You deserved it 2 365

By dreamdude - 20/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 394

You deserved it 4 069

By Finesse7791 - 20/09/2009 12:28 - United States

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 946

You deserved it 2 930

By Lazy - 20/09/2009 12:03 - Australia

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 775

You deserved it 10 142

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 096

You deserved it 6 603

By JazzyandAlice - 20/09/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 006

You deserved it 7 159

By isuckatlyfe - 20/09/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 922

You deserved it 5 830

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 551

You deserved it 3 475

BeHarsh27 tells us more.

BeHarsh27 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 20:49

OP here. I've been on 3 different depression meds before this. The first didnt do hardly anything, the second made me really moody and pretty much angry constantly no matter the situation, and the last seemed to help some, but not all that much. I had a sleep study not long ago and actually got some concrete results from it. I can fall asleep in minutes (normal is like 15 to 20 I think) and I get to REM sleep in less than 15 minutes (again, normal is like ~1 hour). So its not a problem with me not getting to sleep for the one suggesting pot, lol. As of now I'm taking Ritalin, the second recommended drug for hypersomnia. The "suggested" medication is Provigil, but its way too expensive for me to afford even with insurance. The times I tried to go to school was for music performance. I did progressively "better" each time I went, being better prepared each time, but that still didnt keep me from sleeping too late, missing classes, and subsequently getting so far behind that it seemed useless to go anyway. I'm currently looking into game design schools (level design specifically, not programming/animation) as I got a little burned out on the music thing. Thanks for the feedback, its good to know theres others out there dealing with the same thing I am.

Not now!

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 3 867

By elmalo68 - 20/09/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 274

You deserved it 3 219

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 691

You deserved it 10 010

By 909 - 19/09/2009 23:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to Lidl to buy the cheapest jaffa cakes I could. They cost 35p. When I was eating them later on I put the plastic wrapper onto the side. When I'd finished eating my jaffa cakes I went to pick up the wrapper... The dog had eaten it. Cost me a £150 vet bill. Most expensive jaffas I've ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 023

You deserved it 8 564

By MgmEboy - 19/09/2009 21:36 - Canada

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 329

You deserved it 268 931

By weddingcrashed - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 649

You deserved it 4 330

By unlucky - 19/09/2009 19:05 - United Kingdom

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 210

You deserved it 3 084

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 833

You deserved it 5 179

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 15:20 - United States

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 037

You deserved it 51 716

adamas117 tells us more.

adamas117 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 19:26

OP here. it was late when i sent the text, and wasnt really focusing on what i was doing. because the text was about my date, i was thinking about her, and subconciously went to her name instead of my friend's. its all good though. i explained the situation to her, and she understood.