I got sympathy pain after reading this post. Boys will be boys! Good luck!

Thank you Father (my dad) for giving me your x/making me a girl.

@24 that was kind of creepy.

@24 I thought that the male gives the Y chromosome to make them a boy

Wood fetish ftw!

47- Your mom gives you an X no matter what, and if your dad gives you an X, you're a girl (XX), but if your dad gives you a Y, you're a boy(XY)

... How?!

thanks 24, for letting us know that, indeed, your father is in fact your dad. clarification was appreciated as I was a little fuzzy on the relationship.

Actually if she hadn't clarified I would have thought she meant god or lord or something along those lines.

OP's son is doing morning wood wrong

#24, Details unclear, got stuck in washing machine.

Great story #42

Gives their son a Y and daughter an X

By far the most creative thing I heard LOL

Talk about stiff wood...

Pinocchio?

You know exactly what happened wood

i totally wood not do that

I feel like it might have to do with a tree hole.

i wonder how he got wood *there*.

I think a better question is what was wood doing in his wood???

I think he got so confused about something that he actually got his dick caught in a ceiling fan...

2 - Why did you capitalize "his"? Do you think OP's son is God?

He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

Thanks for the followup. I think most were wondering, 'How does that even happen?' and 'How can I avoid that?'

Feel bad for the kid. Must have been hard to go through that.

So he was doing the climb buck naked I assume

I can see it now... "Hey did we ever tell you the time your boyfriend got a splinter in his ding ding? Yeah he ****** a birdhouse."

#73 I'm dying of laughter. Oh god make it stop!

Or a little something to add to the wedding speech!

Hell, this is going to be a great story NOW.

#85 Woody Woodpecker is his name!

It was an 8 year old. Not a baby.

He's still a young child. I call my 4 year old dog a puppy every day.

he could be 12 and every mother on earth will refer to him as "baby"

He could be 30+ and every mother would still refer to their son as her baby

So true. There are things worse than splinters.

if I had a gentleman's appendage, I'm certain I'd stick it in random things -- to see if it fits, of course.

WTF #59

61, maybe it's just a girl thing. Many men I talked to said if they were females for a day, they'd be shoving stuff up the cooch just to see "what it felt like"...so, if we ladies had a dick for a day, I think that would be our idea of 'experimentation'. I'm not speaking for everyone, just from personal experiences with the conversations.

If you had boobs for a day wouldn't you squeeze them just because you could?

The only glory you'll get from one of those is managing to come out *without* an STD.

That will be a fun story to explain to the doctor...

Shouldn't he be seeing a tree surgeon?

You make it sound like you have some experience in that.

I dont think you need a doctor to check for infection. redness, puffiness and unusual heat are signs of infection but OPs follow-up said no signs of infection and it sounded like superficial splinters anyway.