Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

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Kids

Serious times

Messed up

Cartoon villain

By sorryyouweregone - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

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By Ohdear - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML

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By Acidic Donut - United States - Brookfield

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

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By worthless - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

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By Xero_316 - Canada

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

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By BilletsDoudous - France

Today, I'm a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting guy of about 30 gets on board with two huge bags. Worried, I keep an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML

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By not even getting any of her shrimp - United States - Draper

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

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By em - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

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By Wally - Mexico

Today, I'm in Mexico and am supposed to be skydiving for my Christmas gift. Instead, I'm coming out of the hospital with x-rays, an ankle splint, and a $800 bill because I fell on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. FML

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By fucksake - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

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By satisfied88

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

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38391

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By jada - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

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37235

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By feelsbadman

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

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4749

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By Cress

Today, my dad asked what I wanted for my birthday. The only thing I wanted was the complete series of Dragon Ball Z on DVD. He just sighed, shook his head, and asked me to pick something normal. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML

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By Wutdafuqq - Canada - Kanata

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

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34707

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By Gabriela

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom and I had to shovel our driveway after an epic snowstorm that left us with 22 inches of snow. We only needed to dig out my mom's car and not mine. After we did all that work and shoveled all the snow onto the side where my car was we found out my mom had a flat tire. FML

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By "Keira McArthur"

Today, my car fob died on me when I was going to get donations because my house burnt down two days ago, FML

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2648

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By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

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25056

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By Anonymous - United States - Columbia

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

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22761

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By longest minute - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

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13616

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

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By stupidboss - United States - Bellingham

Today, I got into a car accident with my boss, and he asked if I could come to work the next day. I'm in the hospital and he knows it. FML

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20423

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By Shortround - United States - Wheaton

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

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36071

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By Anonynommer - United States - Holyoke

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

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44241

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML

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28087

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

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35890

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By ApparentlyEmo - United States

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

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31674

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By Whoops - United States

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

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34602

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By fuck wannabe knowitalls - United States

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

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51624

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By dannyboy - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML

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19338

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By Jobless in Seattle - United States - Katy

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

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17555

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

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Top comments

By Simply_J | 0

#719384 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:31

Kodak moment?

By sammichbitch | 0

#719395 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:36

What The Fuck.

COMMENTS

By crankyadam | 0

#719382 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:30

FIRST

neonokku | 0

#719589 - Monday 14 December 2009 12:45

ew!

PeopleRSoDumb | 0

#720036 - Monday 14 December 2009 19:43

Why would you -ever- think it was cute to think of your son as a dog? YDI tard.

SweetPotatoVines | 0

#720316 - Tuesday 15 December 2009 0:25

YDI for having a son.

And A dog.

jamsackson | 0

#1114385 - Tuesday 20 July 2010 17:40

Congratulations on raising the next Bear Grills. Be happy, now you can save a lot of money by not cooking food. Just let him eat random road kill.

XxMidnightReader | 0

#1278747 - Saturday 21 August 2010 5:55

that's horribly disgusting OP. I really hope you cleaned his mouth out and checked to make sure he's not retarded.

spaerro | 8

#2380864 - Thursday 21 April 2011 0:21

haha gross

By Simply_J | 0

#719384 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:31

Kodak moment?

xanniefiend420 | 0

#847455 - Friday 12 February 2010 7:03

haha agreed

Theatregeek788 | 0

#1022415 - Monday 7 June 2010 7:00

lol
but that is disgustinggg poor mom....
heck...poor kid!!

stopreadingmynam | 0

#1148366 - Tuesday 27 July 2010 16:52

definetely kodak

Shaebug12 | 0

#1872229 - Tuesday 21 December 2010 6:20

luv the pic

KRYPTON1T3 | 5

#2113888 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 5:30

lol. great comment. maybe take him to the doctor. who knows what is on that rabbit.

dudeman1212 | 22

#3774099 - Friday 23 December 2011 4:11

124 - ...organs and such?

Rowdey | 10

#4409943 - Wednesday 9 May 2012 2:32

No, it's more than that. It's Facebook official.

By sammichbitch | 0

#719395 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:36

What The Fuck.

ryguy1997 | 0

#963224 - Thursday 18 March 2010 23:49

you took the words right out of my mouth

Clare420 | 0

#1021168 - Sunday 6 June 2010 4:35

that what I was thinking...is your son retarded?? what four year old doesn't know not to eat dead rabbits???

matt5217 | 4

#1076087 - Friday 9 July 2010 21:49

I'm 4 and eat dead rabbits

XxMidnightReader | 0

#1278762 - Saturday 21 August 2010 5:57

ROFL @111

Master__Chief | 0

#1319433 - Monday 30 August 2010 1:06

soo... wheres the FML? raw dead rabbits off the lawn are, as dora's backpack would say, nom nom nom nom DELICIOSO!

By waddup_fml | 0

#719397 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:37

Haha awesome!! Just let your son evolve into a human-dog!
this one is favorited!!
PS
Kodak moment comment made me laugh!

crazytoaster | 2

#719444 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:59

So what? When i was a kid i ate a dead kangaroo with my dogs and i turned into a completely well adjusted and emotionally mature adult........ kind of.