Kids: Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43908

You deserved it

6403

Favorite

Kids

Instadrama

You ass!

Do as I say, not as I do

By re2K5 - Korea Republic of

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52095

You deserved it

28600

Favorite

By Jasmine - United States - Sacramento

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38815

You deserved it

6092

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 02:02

Who you gonna call?

Today, I couldn't enter my workplace because I haven't gotten the new keycard yet. I ended up having to wait outside for close to an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

888

You deserved it

123

Favorite

By headdesk - United States - Kaneohe

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57422

You deserved it

6181

Favorite

By hugadyle

Getting some action

Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1485

You deserved it

146

Favorite

By midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34759

You deserved it

2712

Favorite

By muffingirl - United Kingdom

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29713

You deserved it

8119

Favorite

By laughxlove - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10784

You deserved it

32825

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39365

You deserved it

4542

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - Ashland

Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10102

You deserved it

3772

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40888

You deserved it

4343

Favorite

By Crossy - Australia

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

I agree, your life sucks

11520

You deserved it

36529

Favorite

By beep_guacamole - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56231

You deserved it

4607

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20793

You deserved it

5473

Favorite

By thedogwalker - 9/8/2020 08:02

Mistaken identity

Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1380

You deserved it

185

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57664

You deserved it

13745

Favorite

By Alec - United States

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28697

You deserved it

1902

Favorite

By Unhappymothersday - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28426

You deserved it

2151

Favorite

By DumpedHisAss - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37906

You deserved it

3733

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Redding

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20953

You deserved it

1544

Favorite

By Loot - United States

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36881

You deserved it

6032

Favorite

Long thought

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1409

You deserved it

728

Favorite

By msarosi - Canada - Port Perry

Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44091

You deserved it

16768

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Brockton

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23651

You deserved it

9015

Favorite

By tahneee

Today, I went to a function with my dad for a football team. Handing my dad the camera, I finally worked up the courage to ask for a photo with my favourite player. The guy was looking at my boobs in all three photo attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1656

You deserved it

206

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43938

You deserved it

7381

Favorite

By dog got ur phone

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4916

You deserved it

713

Favorite

By theholt - United States

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30372

You deserved it

6170

Favorite

By duhitskelly94 - United States

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19805

You deserved it

57189

Favorite

By Lizz - United States

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25629

You deserved it

3088

Favorite

By SomeoneElse - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68216

You deserved it

3348

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18142

You deserved it

40756

Favorite

By EpicFailAtItsFinest - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49361

You deserved it

19452

Favorite

By Lily - United States

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50378

You deserved it

3245

Favorite

By virginat16 - United States

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33080

You deserved it

7753

Favorite

By Brandon - United States

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36403

You deserved it

3667

Favorite

By Lovers lost...

Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1920

You deserved it

4723

Favorite

By dr immature - United States - Washington

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23367

You deserved it

48529

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57590

You deserved it

6219

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I found out that the $200 I reluctantly gave to my mother so she could rent a house was paid to a scammer. Now she wants to live with me, in my one bedroom apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23751

You deserved it

1892

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Simply_J | 0

#719384 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:31

Kodak moment?

By sammichbitch | 0

#719395 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:36

What The Fuck.

COMMENTS

By crankyadam | 0

#719382 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:30

FIRST

neonokku | 0

#719589 - Monday 14 December 2009 12:45

ew!

PeopleRSoDumb | 0

#720036 - Monday 14 December 2009 19:43

Why would you -ever- think it was cute to think of your son as a dog? YDI tard.

SweetPotatoVines | 0

#720316 - Tuesday 15 December 2009 0:25

YDI for having a son.

And A dog.

jamsackson | 0

#1114385 - Tuesday 20 July 2010 17:40

Congratulations on raising the next Bear Grills. Be happy, now you can save a lot of money by not cooking food. Just let him eat random road kill.

XxMidnightReader | 0

#1278747 - Saturday 21 August 2010 5:55

that's horribly disgusting OP. I really hope you cleaned his mouth out and checked to make sure he's not retarded.

spaerro | 8

#2380864 - Thursday 21 April 2011 0:21

haha gross

By Simply_J | 0

#719384 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:31

Kodak moment?

xanniefiend420 | 0

#847455 - Friday 12 February 2010 7:03

haha agreed

Theatregeek788 | 0

#1022415 - Monday 7 June 2010 7:00

lol
but that is disgustinggg poor mom....
heck...poor kid!!

stopreadingmynam | 0

#1148366 - Tuesday 27 July 2010 16:52

definetely kodak

Shaebug12 | 0

#1872229 - Tuesday 21 December 2010 6:20

luv the pic

KRYPTON1T3 | 5

#2113888 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 5:30

lol. great comment. maybe take him to the doctor. who knows what is on that rabbit.

dudeman1212 | 22

#3774099 - Friday 23 December 2011 4:11

124 - ...organs and such?

Rowdey | 10

#4409943 - Wednesday 9 May 2012 2:32

No, it's more than that. It's Facebook official.

By sammichbitch | 0

#719395 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:36

What The Fuck.

ryguy1997 | 0

#963224 - Thursday 18 March 2010 23:49

you took the words right out of my mouth

Clare420 | 0

#1021168 - Sunday 6 June 2010 4:35

that what I was thinking...is your son retarded?? what four year old doesn't know not to eat dead rabbits???

matt5217 | 4

#1076087 - Friday 9 July 2010 21:49

I'm 4 and eat dead rabbits

XxMidnightReader | 0

#1278762 - Saturday 21 August 2010 5:57

ROFL @111

Master__Chief | 0

#1319433 - Monday 30 August 2010 1:06

soo... wheres the FML? raw dead rabbits off the lawn are, as dora's backpack would say, nom nom nom nom DELICIOSO!

By waddup_fml | 0

#719397 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:37

Haha awesome!! Just let your son evolve into a human-dog!
this one is favorited!!
PS
Kodak moment comment made me laugh!

crazytoaster | 2

#719444 - Monday 14 December 2009 9:59

So what? When i was a kid i ate a dead kangaroo with my dogs and i turned into a completely well adjusted and emotionally mature adult........ kind of.