All the FMLs

By shockedgirl - 16/01/2010 07:17 - United States

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 246

You deserved it 2 739

By Indiana - 16/01/2010 05:14 - Canada

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 9 070

Out it comes

By emilyupsidedown - 16/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I got a popcorn kernel stuck in my throat. It was quite irritating so thought I could get it out with my finger. Good thing, the kernel is gone. Bad thing, I now have the rest of my lunch on my shirt as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 046

You deserved it 31 825

By edot - 16/01/2010 03:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see John Mayer. Being 6'2", I didn't think there would be any trouble seeing the stage, until three 6'6" men stood directly in front of me, pissed in a cup and managed to spill it over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 449

You deserved it 4 784

You dipstick!

By mah - 16/01/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 060

You deserved it 40 499

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 011

You deserved it 2 866

Teenage PDA warning

By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 6 828

By Hungryman - 15/01/2010 21:30 - France

Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 432

You deserved it 8 266

By stephiexbabexx - 15/01/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 833

You deserved it 39 496

By Dreadge - 15/01/2010 19:37 - Israel

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 842

You deserved it 4 603

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 454

You deserved it 30 943

By Anonymous - 15/01/2010 12:53 - United States

Today, I found out that my anxiety disorder has escalated to where I now scratch and pick at my face while asleep. Now I get to sleep with oven mitts taped to my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 797

You deserved it 3 112

By Jumja - 15/01/2010 11:37 - Netherlands

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 232

You deserved it 5 719

By TanjinaRubbaiyat - 15/01/2010 08:49 - Bangladesh

Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 110

You deserved it 3 019

By Romantic - 15/01/2010 08:33 - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 225

You deserved it 4 163

By Rin - 15/01/2010 08:02 - United States

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 529

You deserved it 6 206

By iKaite - 15/01/2010 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 414

You deserved it 3 330

iKaite tells us more.

iKaite 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 19:03

rofl, dont worry I told him off and sent him to bed without cake.

By Goobie - 15/01/2010 07:24 - United States

Today, my father yelled at me for changing one of his two programmable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, #1 is for sober driving and #2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 3 661

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 176

You deserved it 8 449

By hesaidwhat - 15/01/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 107

You deserved it 5 920

Wet helmet

By RyanSmithN - 15/01/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 300

You deserved it 9 232

By RAHrahRAH - 15/01/2010 02:07 - Canada

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 472

You deserved it 2 393

By nude - 15/01/2010 00:43 - United States

Today, I woke up in my boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a shower before he woke up. I used the girls bathroom on the above floor, and afterwards just threw on a towel and ran to the elevator. I forgot to press my boyfriend's floor and I was taken to the lobby in a towel. People were waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 064

You deserved it 32 342

By Lackadaisical - 15/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 243

You deserved it 35 680

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 22:35 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 5 060

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 363

You deserved it 3 826

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 280

You deserved it 4 366

By light_talker - 14/01/2010 19:04 - United States

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 490

You deserved it 18 000

By Lost - 14/01/2010 15:57 - United States

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 311

You deserved it 3 156

By Oops - 14/01/2010 15:55 - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 795

You deserved it 33 098

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Money Birthday Miscellaneous Cute Relatable Sextoys Intimacy Sex Work NSFW Bodyshaming Parenting Kids Food Fish Friends Social Media Divorce Stressed out Awkward Dance Break-ups Cops Dogs Animals Teenagers Swimming pool Health Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I seized in the shower, making me trip over the edge of the tub, which is when I then smashed my face against an open toilet and broke my nose. Thank you epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 89

Today, I learned that my boss is a pedophile. He knows that I know. This is because he saw me looking at him… on the sex offender registry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 169

Today, a week after my fiancé and I got engaged, his mother is already complaining that she isn't involved enough in the wedding arrangements. We haven't even set a date yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 347

You deserved it 2 604

Today, I caught my boyfriend staring at my sister through the doorway while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 9 525

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 972

You deserved it 26 518

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 341

You deserved it 2 645