Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML
Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I'm kind of scared of heights, so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke, fell down, and I fell along with it. My boyfriend then said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML
Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping into his arms. He panicked, stepped aside, and I crashed into the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
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Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 45
Your boyfriend is a win.
RedPillSucks 33
so, the FML here is that you can't take a joke?
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Comments (85)
5t3ff1k4h 45
Your boyfriend is a win.
Mrs_Mcgee 0
lol. damn.
ThatsJustMii 0
haha
selenagirl_fml 0
funny stuff... he needs to take his precautions....
JohnnyHobo 0
Hahha aw you would squishie him:((
legonut4 0
it's funny because he thinks your fat
knight0748 5
that's a valid question, so how much do you weight? and how much can your bf bench?
supergirl69_fml 0
haha 18, hangover reference?
twinny_sc 13
Well...how much do you weigh?
justsayfuck 5
#26 I think this was the Family Guy reference. Hangover would be 'It's funny cuz you're fat' :)
Shookitup 0
how much do you weigh??
TurboTalon 0
The transporter needs to know the exact weight and dimensions of a package before making a deal.
xtfauthorx 0
really I've been telling people that since third grade, I'm sort of a douche
andrea_calderon 0
lol
jellybeans4833 7
lol 15
JayColt 0
26 ummm no just because it was said in a movie doesn't means it's a refrence??
M4V3R1CKR13 0
number 4 is homosexual? correct?
M4V3R1CKR13 0
what happend to 4 comment?
ciciloves96 0
agreed with 9 haha
zanguard 0
but then he burns the details
nateypooo 0
he was probably joking
tanjoodo 3
#1 WIN
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
18's "catch" is explaining the obvious in every FML. He's essentially a parrot, hence the pic. Now I've done the same to him.
spktr 1
that's what happens when you ask loaded questions
KittehKatt 0
how much do you weigh...?
bcamgirl 0
laugh laugh laugh
allmidnighteyes 11
Orrrrr, you know, you could've just gotten up off the couch to grab it
JayColt 0
11 = dumazz. she needed to stand on the arm of the couch to reach the book
hetalia_thailand 20
Orrr maybe OP is too short I reach it and had to stand on the arm of the couch to get it. Duh.
RedPillSucks 33
so, the FML here is that you can't take a joke?
nebula748 14
pretty much
Geiko_fml 0
I wouldn't think that's something to necessarily get upset about. What if he was just joking around? I understand you can be sensitive to your weight, but have faith in the boyfriend. Lol.
whatsernam3 3
awesome pic(:
liekmudkiepz8 0
NO ONE GIVES A ******* SHIT OP TAKE A JOKE AND STOB BITCHING!
Kawaiichan42 3
I hate when women complain about answers to questions they don't like. If you can't handle all the possible answers, don't ask the question.
IrishRyan 0
Nothing wrong with being cautious!
samgar 0
Nothing really wrong with this, he just asking a smart question, cause if your 200 pounds its probably out of the question.