All the FMLs

By Broken - 03/08/2010 12:11 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 237

You deserved it 4 739

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 859

You deserved it 55 556

By Jesse from - 03/08/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 250

You deserved it 39 010

By Anonymous - 03/08/2010 06:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 565

You deserved it 12 702

By nowhereman1990 - 03/08/2010 04:23 - Venezuela

Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 206

You deserved it 4 102

By Doubleyew1 - 02/08/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 4 902

By PCop - 02/08/2010 23:21 - United States

Today, I was bored out of my mind at work. I told my coworker he was lucky to be leaving early. I forgot the reason of his early departure was to go to his grandfather's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 600

You deserved it 36 536

By hAHAha Halo - 02/08/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 868

You deserved it 5 153

By Jay - 02/08/2010 17:23 - United States

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 685

You deserved it 30 876

By ihateumicheal - 02/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 536

You deserved it 4 263

By Julia - 02/08/2010 09:50 - New Zealand

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 764

You deserved it 38 302

By Anonymous - 02/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I finally finished painting a house that took me 3 weeks to complete at 10 hours a day, including weekends, due to my dedication to perfection. When I went to meet with the homeowner for pay day, which was supposed to be $2000, he gave me $200, 5 tacos and then told me to "get the f*** off my lawn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 915

You deserved it 5 503

By Anonymous - 02/08/2010 01:59 - United States

Today, I pretended to go for a run to impress someone on AIM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 199

You deserved it 39 020

By Doodle - 02/08/2010 00:20 - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 3 092

By manicmandy - 01/08/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 504

You deserved it 78 606

By Our Talisman - 01/08/2010 19:41

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 853

You deserved it 82 607

By Intoxicunt - 01/08/2010 18:51 - United States

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 737

You deserved it 31 804

Intoxicunt tells us more.

Intoxicunt 5

Monday 2 August 2010 2:22

I did NOT go back to get them! God, can you people NOT read? Read ALL of the other comments where I explain what happened. I'll repeat it. I did not go back for them. Again, I did not go back for them. How many times do I have to ******* say it!?!?

By jacobscrackers - 01/08/2010 18:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 935

You deserved it 5 888

Get the message

By kfoehslfns - 01/08/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 477

You deserved it 12 797

By tbeemcgeebee - 01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 928

You deserved it 33 688

By lifeguard down - 01/08/2010 04:23 - United States

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 726

You deserved it 13 327

By lonely - 01/08/2010 04:10 - United States

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 779

You deserved it 4 054

Looking good

By XxHinkaixX - 01/08/2010 02:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 526

You deserved it 3 492

By Beaten - 31/07/2010 23:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 840

You deserved it 42 221

Lies and slander

By wtf - 31/07/2010 23:31 - United States

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 018

You deserved it 3 988

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 15:03 - United States

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 625

You deserved it 3 759

By telefucked - 31/07/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 233

By college kid - 31/07/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 5 390

By ick - 31/07/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 628

You deserved it 60 134

By nitroman64 - 30/07/2010 23:40 - United States

Today, I was visiting my girlfriend at her house. We heard the door bell ring. She told me to jump out the window thinking it was her dad. I jumped, landed wrong, and got hurt. It turns out we were ding-dong-ditched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 882

You deserved it 28 316

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realized how toxic and controlling my wife is. She left to go on a vacation, and I'm so used to her micromanaging everything I do that I'm completely unable to function. I tried to play a video game and had a panic attack because I imagined her walking in and screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 184

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 669

You deserved it 45 679

Today, I was let go from my job that I have been at for 6 months, all because someone from the past wants to come back, and the current office manager will be going on maternity leave. I'm just collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 115

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 917

You deserved it 6 607

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 750

You deserved it 3 812

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 930

You deserved it 4 062