By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 099
You deserved it 4 964

Same thing different taste

Top comments

DaleksAreEpic 0

I bet your cat is secretly a hired assassin.


BabyLuis 0

^^Awesome job making yourself look like idiot. Your making the OP look like he's not all that pathetic.

@17 *Einstein . It's called a typo , but if you weren't smart enough to figure out that I meant Einstein , then , well ... that would be a BIT awkward .

She was laughing because that's the only pussy he's ever gotten.

33 What's up with your punctuation, "Einsein"? Seriously though, stop trying to be an Internet tough guy/girl/alien, it just makes you look stupid.

43- I'd just like to point out that you're cool, since your grammar is (as far as I can tell) pretty accurate. And your picture is your Shepard from ME2. I love that game.

y was she beside him in the first place!!

zendaddy0 0

if you ever get in a staring contest with it for the love of god don't look away it marks you as weak

danielleeycakes 3

I thought the name Michelle was a girls name..?

bigvic3767 1

I was just gonna say that they need to read more

no better question why was his sister next to him while he sleeps

HER (Michelle AKA OP) sister probably sleeps in the same room as her. Frigging heck people are slow.

91, if you are going to say frigging heck, don't, just say the real words because you sound so stupid.

BabeSaint 0

YbuLast time I checked Michelle is a girls name ******* jackasses so lay off!!! They probably share a room...

Well obviously 17 knew you meant Einstein, but it's just ironic how you're basically calling someone dumb and spelling Einstein's name wrong in the process

There's nothing wrong with the grammar, it's just spaced out. Anyway, who cares? You being a bent out of shape grammar Nazi doesn't make you look like an idiot? Yeah it does.. It definitely doesn't make you look any tougher, cooler, etc...

karo_mit_k 11

my cat does that all the time haha

Why would you laugh at a murderous cat

DaleksAreEpic 0

I bet your cat is secretly a hired assassin.

sutherlandrb32 0

my question is why were you sleeping next to your sister?

pussy on his face and he could hear his sister laughing? this makes me even more suspicious.

yourmurderscenex 13

I'm guessing the OP is a female because of the name "Michelle" as the username. Also she could have fallen asleep on the couch and that's why her sister was next to her when she woke up.

markdeshin 3

I was going to post exactly the same question.?? weird as

Avenged7Gabe 0

she never said she was sleeping next to her sister retard, she said she was "around her"

hey "retard" read it again. it says " I heard my sister laughing next to me". nowhere does it says around.

hey "retard" next to could mean that she was standing next to her. or it could mean that the one being attacked could have been on the couch and the sister was standing next to the couch. smart one.

Or it could mean sleeping in another bed next to.

Or maybe they decided to have a little slumber party? My sister and me dragged my mattress into the living room before to have one, just for the heck of it.

Well, you can't blame her, that's hilarious. Don't get your life get taken by a cat.

TheDrifter 23

I wondered that too. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was simply there to teach the cat new assassination tricks.

meowmeowwkitty 0

not if you have allergies! that'd make for a bad day. ps nice picture, crazy catwoman?

koolkat27 13

64- don't be hatin on cats, cats are the best things in the world! and just because you have a picture of your cat doesn't make you a crazy catwoman.

ExtremeEncounter 32

Cats are sadistic assholes. Hate 'em.

Hahahaha. that's hilarious. but sad for you.

burriedinskin 0