FML : Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was...

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Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Michelle / Sunday 20 February 2011 17:45 / United States

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Top comments

By DaleksAreEpic | 0

#2104492 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

I bet your cat is secretly a hired assassin.

By catnip216 | 0

#2104536 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:13

This is why cats are awesome.

Comments

By BabyLuis | 0

#2104455 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:01

why was ur sister laughing??

ConfusionsLoveMe | 0

#2104514 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:11

She was making fun of him , Einsein .

anorexicbarbie | 8

#2104603 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:24

Einsein?

Insane_Tea | 14

#2104656 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:33

^^Awesome job making yourself look like idiot. Your making the OP look like he's not all that pathetic.

ConfusionsLoveMe | 0

#2104803 - Monday 21 February 2011 01:12

@17 *Einstein . It's called a typo , but if you weren't smart enough to figure out that I meant Einstein , then , well ... that would be a BIT awkward .

WhiteFlagWarrior | 2

#2105477 - Monday 21 February 2011 02:00

She was laughing because that's the only pussy he's ever gotten.

anorexicbarbie | 8

#2105623 - Monday 21 February 2011 02:51

33 What's up with your punctuation, "Einsein"? Seriously though, stop trying to be an Internet tough guy/girl/alien, it just makes you look stupid.

Renesaga | 8

#2105657 - Monday 21 February 2011 03:04

43- I'd just like to point out that you're cool, since your grammar is (as far as I can tell) pretty accurate. And your picture is your Shepard from ME2. I love that game.

YtotsDI | 0

#2105673 - Monday 21 February 2011 03:11

y was she beside him in the first place!!

zendaddy0 | 0

#2105924 - Monday 21 February 2011 04:41

if you ever get in a staring contest with it for the love of god don't look away it marks you as weak

danielleeycakes | 3

#2106342 - Monday 21 February 2011 07:15

I thought the name Michelle was a girls name..?

bigvic3767 | 1

#2106454 - Monday 21 February 2011 07:54

I was just gonna say that they need to read more

Thanatos1206 | 0

#2106569 - Monday 21 February 2011 08:39

F**k yeah Seaking!!

gunman15 | 4

#2106806 - Monday 21 February 2011 10:12

no better question why was his sister next to him while he sleeps

Iskaria | 0

#2107017 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:11

HER (Michelle AKA OP) sister probably sleeps in the same room as her. Frigging heck people are slow.

jobint_fml | 0

#2107399 - Monday 21 February 2011 03:36

no joke 91.. ppl here are slowwww

lindsaymiedema | 4

#2110248 - Tuesday 22 February 2011 07:25

91, if you are going to say frigging heck, don't, just say the real words because you sound so stupid.

Iskaria | 0

#2115549 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 06:26

114 I can say whatever the shit I want

CRiiSPY_fml | 0

#2763014 - Sunday 26 June 2011 03:19

lol you fucking fail at life! XD

BabeSaint | 0

#3583143 - Monday 14 November 2011 05:51

YbuLast time I checked Michelle is a girls name fucking jackasses so lay off!!! They probably share a room...

Unlucky_Gun | 0

#4003433 - Tuesday 7 February 2012 05:29

Well obviously 17 knew you meant Einstein, but it's just ironic how you're basically calling someone dumb and spelling Einstein's name wrong in the process

Unlucky_Gun | 0

#4003450 - Tuesday 7 February 2012 05:32

There's nothing wrong with the grammar, it's just spaced out. Anyway, who cares? You being a bent out of shape grammar Nazi doesn't make you look like an idiot? Yeah it does.. It definitely doesn't make you look any tougher, cooler, etc...

By iSitt | 0

#2104466 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:03

you got teabagged

testthecoal | 5

#2104713 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:46

this sounds like the intro to a porno >.>

WhiteFlagWarrior | 2

#2105447 - Monday 21 February 2011 01:47

You would know...

LifeSucksbtw | 0

#2105787 - Monday 21 February 2011 03:58

who wouldn't know

By iSitt | 0

#2104469 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:03

you got teabagged

By karo_mit_k | 11

#2104475 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:03

my cat does that all the time haha

zach205 | 24

#5991409 - Saturday 28 June 2014 09:46

Why would you laugh at a murderous cat

By bassplayer27 | 0

#2104489 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

Maybe it was after a snot monster!

By DaleksAreEpic | 0

#2104492 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:06

I bet your cat is secretly a hired assassin.

rawrsofi | 5

#2105665 - Monday 21 February 2011 03:07

WIN.

By sutherlandrb32 | 0

#2104520 - Monday 21 February 2011 12:12

my question is why were you sleeping next to your sister?

raisin31408 | 0

#2105577 - Monday 21 February 2011 02:34

EXACTLY what i was thinking!!!!

keyzer11 | 0

#2105687 - Monday 21 February 2011 03:14

pussy on his face and he could hear his sister laughing? this makes me even more suspicious.

yourmurderscenex | 13

#2105745 - Monday 21 February 2011 03:36

I'm guessing the OP is a female because of the name "Michelle" as the username. Also she could have fallen asleep on the couch and that's why her sister was next to her when she woke up.

markdeshin | 2

#2106167 - Monday 21 February 2011 06:19

I was going to post exactly the same question.?? weird as

Avenged7Gabe | 0

#2106386 - Monday 21 February 2011 07:31

she never said she was sleeping next to her sister retard, she said she was "around her"

ReyJrX | 0

#2106918 - Monday 21 February 2011 11:20

hey "retard" read it again. it says " I heard my sister laughing next to me". nowhere does it says around.

dancer0721 | 0

#2109473 - Tuesday 22 February 2011 02:59

hey "retard" next to could mean that she was standing next to her. or it could mean that the one being attacked could have been on the couch and the sister was standing next to the couch. smart one.

gunnar7240 | 0

#2156511 - Sunday 6 March 2011 08:30

Or it could mean sleeping next to.

writergirl23 | 19

#4048644 - Friday 17 February 2012 08:59

Or it could mean sleeping in another bed next to.

xNephilim | 18

#4202850 - Friday 23 March 2012 02:10

Or maybe they decided to have a little slumber party? My sister and me dragged my mattress into the living room before to have one, just for the heck of it.