All the FMLs

By too cool - 01/07/2014 03:59 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 399

You deserved it 3 364

By mymumdidntloveme - 01/07/2014 03:59 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 055

You deserved it 5 503

mymumdidntloveme tells us more.

mymumdidntloveme 14

Saturday 16 August 2014 13:34

Hey, OP here. We are still together. Have attended counselling and we are both being much more open and loving with each other. The issue was both his and mine but we are both working on our problems together and I'm proud to say our marriage is better and more fun than ever :)

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 563

You deserved it 48 244

By outoflove - 30/06/2014 21:06 - United States - Rockport

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 822

You deserved it 4 424

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 16:19 - United States - Naperville

Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 135

You deserved it 42 753

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 11:40 - Australia - Applecross

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 371

You deserved it 7 782

By beccadabeast - 30/06/2014 06:44 - United States - Mesa

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 279

You deserved it 11 528

By Charitable - 30/06/2014 05:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 606

You deserved it 8 857

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 01:25 - United States - Butler

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 044

You deserved it 12 026

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 937

You deserved it 7 219

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 22:28 - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 184

You deserved it 4 752

By whoops - 29/06/2014 20:37 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 340

You deserved it 60 959

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 17:26 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 367

You deserved it 5 175

By ~~~ - 29/06/2014 17:08 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 583

You deserved it 4 344

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 05:04 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 634

You deserved it 6 300

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 729

You deserved it 4 022

By justno - 29/06/2014 00:26 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 268

You deserved it 5 280

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 00:09 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 5 238

By Anonymous - 28/06/2014 20:40 - United States - Oakland

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 349

You deserved it 4 641

By a fat fucking shit and proud of it - 28/06/2014 19:09 - United Kingdom - Camberley

Today, it's been less than a week since I finally got a job, after over a year of searching. I just found out that there's about to be a wave of layoffs. I haven't even gotten my first paycheck, and already I'm going to lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 405

You deserved it 3 784

Makes sense

By lovegame - 28/06/2014 15:48 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 061

You deserved it 26 970

By Puzzlepiece - 28/06/2014 14:08 - Australia - Lakemba

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 231

You deserved it 6 611

By Madridsta - 28/06/2014 06:28 - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 935

You deserved it 7 856

You little knob

By keelah - 27/06/2014 21:57 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 718

You deserved it 8 606

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 21:15 - Canada - London

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 008

You deserved it 6 992

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 312

You deserved it 9 394

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 17:32 - Japan - Yokohama

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 855

You deserved it 4 516

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 522

You deserved it 4 256

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 01:39 - United States - Demopolis

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 858

You deserved it 4 833

Major annoyance

By E.B. - 27/06/2014 00:07 - United States - Grenada

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 001

You deserved it 4 883

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The Top

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 548

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a group of people who smelled like they bathed in garlic. It was so bad that I'm pretty sure Dracula would have tried to claw his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 108

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 982

You deserved it 7 649

Today, I was stuck in a room for eight hours with several guys doing impressions of Boomhauer from King of the Hill. Talkin' 'bout that dang ol' FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 160

Today, I found out that after moving in with my mother and her boyfriend into his place two months ago, she's breaking up with him, and leaving me stuck with him. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 146

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 904

You deserved it 78 263