By karmaaa - 16/10/2014 20:56 - United States - Huxley
The Top
By SADlilAZN - 17/02/2009 05:04 - United States
Y'all need him!
By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By gtfoocd - 27/12/2011 15:20 - United States
By epicsandwichartist - 05/05/2011 07:13 - United States
Take a hike
By bummed - 14/04/2014 01:57
Yeetus
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By troll of a gran - 08/01/2013 17:10 - United States - Oklahoma City
By WhatsThatSmell - 25/02/2011 13:25 - Australia
Kids will be kids
By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 14:08 - United States
By anonymous - 29/01/2011 12:41 - Australia
By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 04:29 - Canada - Montreal
By Anonymous - 05/11/2009 17:28 - United States
By 1129 - 15/06/2010 16:32 - United States
2_56_40 tells us more.
Trash
By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 06:42 - United States
By NotAnInLawFamilyMan - 10/12/2014 14:05 - United States - San Francisco
Likely story
By Gabriela - 23/11/2011 01:00
Gotcha good
By fuck you, dad - 08/02/2014 20:54 - United States - Bellflower
By Anonymous - 05/07/2011 22:37 - United States
By poorgary - 18/12/2008 11:46 - France
Popped
By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States
No diggity
By bullllllshittttt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By Winchesterlover - 05/02/2011 18:41 - United States
A tube full of demons
By lalalalalala - 17/03/2011 16:56 - United States
By Anonymous - 24/11/2014 18:47 - United States - Charlottesville
By TheLadyOpal - 13/12/2013 07:55 - United States
TheLadyOpal tells us more.
Aaaah! I finally got an FML published :D Awesome. Now to clear a few things up: I have had an irrational fear of sudden loud noises my whole life. Not necessarily the noise itself - (although there are exceptions if it's particularly loud, like the smoke alarm), but the anticipation of the noise - one of the reasons I hated school was because I would sit in class and worry about whether or not we'd be having a fire drill that day. And I don't keep an alarm clock. I have tried to keep one in the past, only to realize that if I'm expecting an alarm to wake me up in the morning, I don't sleep. I don't have a cell phone either, and I live alone, so to the smartass who suggested someone mess with my phone to set an alarm ring-tone, sorry to burst your bubble :P And no, I don't actually WANT to die - I was just thinking about this the other day and saying to myself, would I actually rather die in my sleep than wake up in the middle of the night to a terrible noise and have to maybe evacuate my house and call 911 and probably dissolve into a sobbing wreck due to all the anxiety? No, death is not the better solution, obviously, but irrational feelings tend to disregard logic.
By wow - 23/06/2011 08:53 - France
Vacation in Hell
By misc - 08/06/2011 17:52 - Netherlands
Double shift
By mook05 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 21/10/2010 22:04 - United States
Keywords
I couldn't list everything that was stolen but it was my sirious radio, my ipod, my GPS, and my sister's GPS (her fault). Nothing was in plain sight except for the radio. And the parking pass itself was $100. Also... I think burgled sounds waaay weirder that burglarized...