By TheLadyOpal - 13/12/2013 07:55 - United States

Today, I have such an irrational fear of the noise my smoke detector makes when it goes off, that dying in my sleep from smoke inhalation or carbon monoxide poisoning sounds absolutely peachy by comparison. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 825
You deserved it 6 264

TheLadyOpal tells us more.

Aaaah! I finally got an FML published :D Awesome. Now to clear a few things up: I have had an irrational fear of sudden loud noises my whole life. Not necessarily the noise itself - (although there are exceptions if it's particularly loud, like the smoke alarm), but the anticipation of the noise - one of the reasons I hated school was because I would sit in class and worry about whether or not we'd be having a fire drill that day. And I don't keep an alarm clock. I have tried to keep one in the past, only to realize that if I'm expecting an alarm to wake me up in the morning, I don't sleep. I don't have a cell phone either, and I live alone, so to the smartass who suggested someone mess with my phone to set an alarm ring-tone, sorry to burst your bubble :P And no, I don't actually WANT to die - I was just thinking about this the other day and saying to myself, would I actually rather die in my sleep than wake up in the middle of the night to a terrible noise and have to maybe evacuate my house and call 911 and probably dissolve into a sobbing wreck due to all the anxiety? No, death is not the better solution, obviously, but irrational feelings tend to disregard logic.

Top comments

ineedalogin 19

Alarm clocks make everyone cry


JMichael 25

Someone should really mess with her and set her ringtone as a fire alarm.

ineedalogin 19

Alarm clocks make everyone cry

arandomusernameaa 20

#39 reminds me of the video on youtube of a cat twanging the spring doorstop in the morning.... twannnnnggg

bfsd42 20

34, 39, how about alarm clocks are the best alarm clocks.

JocelynKaulitz 28

Any alarm clocks can be such **** blocks.

Not to be rude but when do you usually have sex? At least for me... Early mornings are not ideal

Maybe y'all were having sex in your dreams.

TahoeFMler 22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Yeah and just die if a fire ever came about.

Isn't that illegal? I only know from that episode of Friends, but I thought that was an actual law?

If it's a law in my state, I'm in trouble. We have a dog who barks if the neighbors burn weeds. I'm sure he'll inform us if our house sparks up. I find the smoke detector annoying, especially since it goes off every time I turn on the oven, even from across the house.

TahoeFMler 22

Smoke detectors malfunction more often than they actually detect fires. Mine is disconnected, in a plastic baggie, in a tupperware, in a cupboard in the laundry room... Goes off every time I open the oven!

people, clean your ovens! Plug in your smoke detectors and suck it up! Your weed sniffing dog is not that reliable in the dead of night! Its called being responsible, not only for you but for your pets, house and neighbors. I hate mine too but I am not going to risk my life and that of my loved ones to avoid an annoying sound from time to time. Mine goes off anytime someone take a hot shower in the guest bathroom, so I fully understand but really grow up! Also OP, most likely your smoke detector does not detect carbon monoxide, if its a standard smoke detector, you might want to check into that. . .

So you're suggesting the OP wear earplugs 24/7 because her fire alarm MAY go off.

arandomusernameaa 20

Rendering the fire alarm useless... Resulting in 80% chance of death if there was a fire... Great plan!

SmallyBigs 9

If only smoke detectors could use ringtones..."fireeee, up in here!"

Or, "This, girl is on FAAAHHHEEEERRRRRRR!!!"

RedPillSucks 31

Sounds like a marketing opportunity. Expect to see your idea on some late night commercial (right after ShamWow!). Operators are standing by. Call today. Don't delay! Don't expect to see any proceeds or profits. I'll deny everything if you try to sue for money. The patent has already been applied for.

Dawnstempest 17

Or "Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!" From "Fire, Fire" by Heavens Basement.

SuperMew 22

"The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!" Anyone heard that song?

MrBoredomioo 18

That's dangerous. True when you keep thinking about something, it really nags at you.

They're definitely annoying and loud, but to be afraid of the noise. I don't get it.

It's just like being afraid of stairs. People have fears.

#8, phobia: irrational fear. You're not supposed to get it. Anyway, OP should try systematic desensitization to ease the fear.

ninjuh_wingman 29

What type of smoke detectors do you own that vibrate?

They have alarm clocks that vibrate underneath your mattress for deaf people. It's likely you can get a wireless or bluetooth enabled smoke detector that hooks into that.

You can probably find specialty ones that make a different sound. Or you could try counseling to help you get over it. Irrational fears aren't uncommon OP, don't worry too much about it, if that's stopping you.

I'm already seeing a therapist, but I can look into other places. I was considering trying hypnotherapy to get over this, since I think me overcoming the fear would be more of a possibility than changing how the smoke detectors operate (I live in an apartment, so they're not even technically mine).

Hiimhaileypotter 52

#80- We learned about hynotherapy in my AP Psychology class. It seems really interesting. If you think it would help you, go for it! :)

I absolutely hate the sound my butt makes when I fart. Damn I just know I ripped a hole through my ass and now I need to get a new one