Geek: Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we... - FML

By Winchesterlover - United States

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35735

You deserved it

8825

Tweet

Share

Triage

Death at one's elbow

Inspirational tale

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13612

You deserved it

41377

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26242

You deserved it

4343

Tweet

Share

By eww657 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42191

You deserved it

3852

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37338

You deserved it

9009

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27998

You deserved it

9881

Tweet

Share

By married life - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47452

You deserved it

5826

Tweet

Share

By unknown - France

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51182

You deserved it

3640

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Paranoid much?

Today, I got pushed around by several suspicious mothers in a playground. I just wanted to sit down and rest my feet while I waited for my wife to finish her shopping across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1545

You deserved it

157

Tweet

Share

By can't sleep - United States - Crown Point

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are, but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

40722

You deserved it

4124

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched a grizzled, old gas station attendant with a stain on her blouse use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36131

You deserved it

2902

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21713

You deserved it

30480

Tweet

Share

By Kathleen Verhaegen

Pale AF

Today, I went to get a double conch piercing. Afterwards, the lady asked me whether I was feeling well, because I was looking so pale. I had to explain that it's my normal skin tone. I'm just pale as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1203

You deserved it

201

Tweet

Share

By Doggy... - Australia

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25659

You deserved it

9857

Tweet

Share

By Kate - United States

Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31631

You deserved it

3919

Tweet

Share

By Unnoticed - Australia - Thornlie

Today, my colleague introduced herself and said, "I know how nerve-racking first days are!" Which is nice of her, except I've been at this company longer than she has. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4057

You deserved it

306

Tweet

Share

By cantgetitupcantgetiton - United States

Quickie

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23250

You deserved it

3212

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 20:06 - Nigeria

Just because you can don't mean you should

Today, I got stuck in my washing machine. When my sister saw me, she just left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

296

You deserved it

722

Tweet

Share

By Rubyscooby212 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35261

You deserved it

3697

Tweet

Share

By drugdealersgf

Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10045

You deserved it

1105

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29416

You deserved it

2583

Tweet

Share

By ihateseagulls - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28587

You deserved it

4097

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Grandville

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38393

You deserved it

2489

Tweet

Share

By ruvru - United States

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56599

You deserved it

4106

Tweet

Share

By MemoKrosav - Mexico - Matamoros

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20217

You deserved it

4519

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks

58560

You deserved it

11719

Tweet

Share

By BoldMoveCotton - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying, "Okie dokie" and hanging up. Guess they were glad to be rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11908

You deserved it

1967

Tweet

Share

By Ren - United States

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52548

You deserved it

4311

Tweet

Share

By No O-face - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33698

You deserved it

6411

Tweet

Share

By ohgodwhy - United States

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38663

You deserved it

19103

Tweet

Share

By yes, yes it does :( - United States

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42065

You deserved it

30885

Tweet

Share

By Morgan Jones

Today, I went to work at my new job, where I thought it would be super easy because I shop there all the time, and already know where everything is. Turns out, they're remodelling the store, so I don't know where anything is anymore, and the bosses get mad at me for being too slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1462

You deserved it

375

Tweet

Share

By thanks babe - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42945

You deserved it

4584

Tweet

Share

By Josie - Australia

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32972

You deserved it

3806

Tweet

Share

By Lifes_overated - Australia

Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

25002

You deserved it

48648

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23032

You deserved it

1849

Tweet

Share

By ants9omarching - United States

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35484

You deserved it

5926

Tweet

Share

By Noname - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43176

You deserved it

4895

Tweet

Share

By melly - United States

Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27431

You deserved it

10645

Tweet

Share

By craigtm029429 - United States

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30720

You deserved it

1877

Tweet

Share

By NeoDepressed - Czech Republic

Today my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if i want a therapist. I said idk. Then my mom said "But wait its going to cost a lot of money".. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2132

You deserved it

598

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By afdude87 | 6

#2049800 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:21

well, you should have.

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#2049863 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:47

She's right. Stay in your dance space during Just Dance. That shit gets intense.

COMMENTS

By cowboyy_fml | 0

#2049796 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:20

omg wow

Reply

b182link | 0

#2050577 - Sunday 6 February 2011 5:20

play viva las Vegas and shoot her in the face

Reply

Micayla | 12

#2050586 - Sunday 6 February 2011 5:27

My mom would so do this to me.

Reply

Takador | 3

#2052791 - Sunday 6 February 2011 22:48

i was playing Hot Stuff with my mother and both our hands hit the ceiling fan.

Reply

shhhitsasecret | 0

#2057519 - Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:43

me and my bro smashed our hands together a few times playin that game. haahh. who knew dancing was so dangerous. aha.

Reply

NavySEAL13 | 0

#2735060 - Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:43

moms are b*tches

Reply

StudMuffinette | 17

#2900370 - Friday 15 July 2011 21:56

ur mom sounds like a real bitch

By XxNinjaDaytonaxX | 0

#2049797 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:21

ooh that sucks

By ComfortablyNumbb | 0

#2049799 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:21

Ew wii is stupid

Reply

derpherp | 0

#2049989 - Sunday 6 February 2011 1:36

Nu-uh! Wii is hardcore! It makes families beat each other *･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Reply

DVecc | 0

#2052334 - Sunday 6 February 2011 18:36

explain that to the sales figures that beat the ps3 and Xbox 360

now shut the fuck up when your opinion doesn't matter.

Reply

Bobissmall | 13

#2052620 - Sunday 6 February 2011 21:27

The Wii is also a lot cheaper, and appeals to a much wider audience. Personally, i feel that the Wii sucks because i'd prefer a "hard core" gaming console.

Reply

docscientist | 9

#2052645 - Sunday 6 February 2011 21:40

Monster Hunter Tri is not casual.

Reply

scarletchamber | 0

#4176691 - Saturday 17 March 2012 5:13

are u fucke up

By afdude87 | 6

#2049800 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:21

well, you should have.

Reply

MyNameIsBruce | 0

#2051009 - Sunday 6 February 2011 8:28

I was just thinking that.

Reply

Froz3narr0w | 0

#2051662 - Sunday 6 February 2011 14:03

Agreed.

Reply

michele_13 | 0

#2053022 - Monday 7 February 2011 1:06

agree.
xD

Reply

Insane_Tea | 15

#2099094 - Saturday 19 February 2011 5:54

C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKERRRRR!!!

By gooBUZZ | 0

#2049801 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:21

How's that her fault? If you're implying that...

Reply

starryxeyes | 2

#2050135 - Sunday 6 February 2011 2:32

I don't think she's implying that it was her mom's fault, I think op's more upset that she was injured and instead of her mother giving her any sort of sympathy she basically said that she deserved it.

Reply

adime | 4

#2050327 - Sunday 6 February 2011 3:42

But she deserved it, so she shouldn't be upset that her mom didn't pity her

Reply

Winchesterlover | 0

#2051084 - Sunday 6 February 2011 9:23

How does one deserve to have their skin and finger nail ripped off? Mind explaining that to me?

Reply

jayyvonhatesyou | 11

#6560036 - Tuesday 15 March 2016 23:52

It wouldn't have happened if you stayed in your dance space, lmao YDI

By Anubyte | 0

#2049802 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:21

haha, sorry

By Sylverstone | 2

#2049814 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:26

Too bad. I'm sure they said to be careful of your surrounding when flailing the remote.

By mintcar | 9

#2049815 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:26

She's completely right.
Damn brah, stay in your own gat damn space.

Reply

hachoo | 0

#2049844 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:38

You're not funny at all.

Reply

mintcar | 9

#2049878 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:55

I didn't know I was TRYING to be funny.
How did you interpret the word "brah," "YDI," and "gat damn" as funny?
??????????
HOW???????????!!

Reply

docscientist | 9

#2049975 - Sunday 6 February 2011 1:20

16 - You're not relevant at all.

Reply

xMexicanXJesusx | 0

#2049991 - Sunday 6 February 2011 1:38

#27- You didn't say "YDI"...?

Reply

mintcar | 9

#2050166 - Sunday 6 February 2011 2:40

I know, but I implied it. XD.

Reply

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#2054029 - Monday 7 February 2011 6:06

no, you didnt. You're stating the obvious....

By mintcar | 9

#2049816 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:26

She's completely right.
Damn brah, stay in your own gat damn space.

By Kelita | 0

#2049826 - Saturday 5 February 2011 23:29

LMAO!!!!!!