The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Donut scandal

By Not a Kevin here - 10/06/2026 15:00 - Philippines

Today, in the doughnut shop I usually go to, I bought 3 dozen to take home. A new clerk rang me up and, with an attitude, said the store is cashless only now. Despite me showing cash to pay with like I always do, I was judged by other customers as if I was a deadbeat. She then threw a fit for cancelling and returning the items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 85

Colloquialism

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that when an Australian guy starts working in your office and says, “Nice thongs”, he isn’t talking about your underwear, he means the bright sunflower sandals on your feet. I may have overreacted at what I thought was blatant sexual harassment, and am now on unpaid suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 1 773

Why not both?

By Rob - 14/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife is furious with me because I would rather our teenage son see a counselor instead of a psychiatrist. I want our son to learn healthy coping mechanisms for life, not just take pills to make everything go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 444

My life is average

By Haiku Man - 13/11/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, the highlight of my week has been accidentally triggering the haiku bot on Reddit. Life's been good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 149

BBUK 2024

By Pete - 17/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I had managed to avoid any mention of who won Big Brother because I couldn't watch it live, and I had planned to watch it on replay tonight. All was going to plan until my arsehole brother sent me a text that simply said, "Spoiler alert: Ali won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 210

Bad start

By Tum - 27/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was starting a new job that requires me to wake up at 4 am. I set three alarms but was so nervous about sleeping through them that I kept waking up to check the time, which caused me to miss my alarms. Goodbye awesome new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 142

SIKE!

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 14:00 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, at work at a psych hospital, I saw a lady get out of a Lyft with two other people. The lady went into the lobby, while the two other people went to admissions. I asked the lady in the lobby if she was lost or needed help finding admissions, thinking she was family of the other two. Turns out she works in a different building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 154

PSA: Don't be this guy

By Ih8ungratefulb - 23/04/2023 00:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the love of my life. She laughed and said, “Nah, you’re like a brother to me, I can’t see you that way.” This after I drained my wallet for her birthday, brought her flowers and comforted her when her dog passed away, and fixed her car every time it broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 1 820

Freeze

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Plano

Today, I was at a party and went to the bathroom. The door was tricky to lock, but in my inebriated state I thought I'd managed it. Apparently, I hadn’t. Midway through my business, the door swung open, and in walked a group of people looking for their coats. We just stared at each other in shock until someone finally closed the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 158

Dynasty

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my grandparents are demanding that I come live with them because my stepmom is pregnant. They're convinced that she and my dad are going to throw me aside once the baby is born, even though I know that's not going to happen. They're even making threats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 60

Everything's gone green

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 18:00

Today, it's been a month since the hair dye that was supposed to be temporary is still making my hair tropically green, now with some added roots making it look even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 587

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 280

Doghouse

By Krissi - 21/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 533

Unprofessional

By WhoDunIt - 14/01/2023 10:00

Today, I had a job interview for the perfect job. My phone rang in my pocket. I’d forgotten to silence it. The worst part? The ringtone was a guy saying “Pussy!” on a continuous loop. The interviewer chewed me out for being “unprofessional” and kicked me out. I have no idea who set that ringtone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 1 215

Moral of the story: don't be a weirdo

By Megan - 29/03/2022 02:00 - Czech Republic

Today, I ran into an old coworker. Several years ago, he had a creepy, obsessive crush on me. Now, he's lost over a hundred pounds, makes over twice as much as me, and isn't a complete weirdo anymore. I asked him if he wanted to get a drink sometime and 'catch up'. "Nah, I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 3 491

Self rated

By Anonymous - 09/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized my success rates for sex in my committed relationship were really, really low, so I've decided to stop trying for a while. I also recently have learned Excel. I made a pretty complex tracker if I ever decide to try again to monitor failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 205

Astronomical

By Anonymous - 26/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, my phone alarm went off at 3 AM. I don't remember setting it, but it turns out I'd somehow activated an old "Wake up for a meteor shower" reminder. Despite it being the wrong day by months, I got up, looked outside, and only then did my brain kick into gear and I realized it was set for the wrong date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 199

Emotional support

By A very comforting thought indeed - 09/04/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, it occurred to me just how dependent I am on my parents, and that I would be totally fucked if something happened to them. The state of the world right now makes it impossible for young people to get anywhere. Especially one who can't drive and can barely talk to anyone without having a panic attack. AKA: Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 569

Doggos 4 Life

By Jerry01 - 19/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 168

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 17/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I started doing cardio at my local gym with a basic exercise bike because doing weightlifting by itself wasn't having an effect on my weight. Since I'm out of shape, I did 15 minutes instead of the standard 30. I had to stop at 10 minutes because my legs were so sore they nearly gave out on me when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 154

Genius

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 628

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 749

Does this smell bad?

By Anonymous - 06/11/2020 02:01

Today, I spent a full two minutes doing nothing but sniffing my computer. Don't worry, it was in the living room and my roommate definitely saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 741

When I Try to Look Good on Camera

By FML Approved - 04/09/2017 22:31

THE CUPCAKE THOUGH

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 436

Touch grass, Mom

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 09:00

Today, we had to take my mother to the emergency room because of high blood pressure. As soon as we got back home, she started scrolling through Facebook and getting angry at everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 68

Meddling

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 22:00 - India

Today, after I tried to help my friend bust his cheating girlfriend, he seems to still trust her, so now my office friends think I'm a bigmouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 185

I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 126

Par for the course

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I carried my golf bag from the club house to my car. When I got there, my rear pocket got caught in a zipper on the bag. I couldn't get them separated. I had to take my pants off to fix it. Yes, three couples walked by, pretending not to notice. Had it not happened to me, I would not believe this story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 111

Never assume

By It_gets_better - 19/07/2022 14:00 - United States - Las Cruces

Today, at a family gathering, I gave my toddler my phone to get a moment of peace. After assuring my nosy, judgemental aunt and cousin that I wasn't worried about it because I have dropped it myself numerous times over the last two years, and I trusted the OtterBox phone case it was in, my son dropped and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 958

Curiosity killed the AC

By Cat owner - 11/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 134

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The Top

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 454

You deserved it 3 354

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 214

You deserved it 3 169

Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 487

You deserved it 6 826

Today, everyone commented on how realistic my "fat suit" was. I didn't dress up for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 189

You deserved it 8 236

Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 215

You deserved it 730

Today, after my husband whipped my ass with a belt the night before (consensual S&M sex, not abuse), I had to go to work and sit on a hard metal chair for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 408