Today my wife made something from ultra salty fish she bought, and it was horrible. It set off my sensitive bowels within minutes. Now 15 hours later I’ve just had my first dry fart. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I ate something that didn’t agree with me. Now I’m in the bathroom and my butthole is dry heaving. FML
Today, after thinking I was done with my diarrhea because my last fart was a dry one, I let loose with what was gonna be a good fart. It wasn’t. FML
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, my husband and I shared a chinese prawn dinner. I now have the most violent shits I’ve ever experienced in my life. He is completely fine and keeps rubbing it in my face by being able to eat his meals without throwing them up. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Did your wife force it down your throat? Perhaps you could have stopped after the first horrible bite.
Yudith 28
Maybe she guilted him into eating the damn thing
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Comments (1)
DLBL 23
Did your wife force it down your throat? Perhaps you could have stopped after the first horrible bite.
Yudith 28
Maybe she guilted him into eating the damn thing