The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Alexa, play "Let Me Down Gently" by Spacemen 3

By Heal my butt smh - 25/09/2023 00:02 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I’ve been waiting for the girl I love to break up with her boyfriend so I could ask her out. It finally happened; however she said she wanted time to heal before she started getting involved with guys again. I respected that decision. There’s just one problem. I saw her in town, hand in hand with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 037

Wake up

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 23:01

TToday, my daughter was hungover, so to teach her a lesson I started banging a pot next to her ear. An hour later, we’re in hospital. She wasn’t hungover; she hadn’t even been drinking. Her migraine was a huge aneurism one sneeze away from bursting and killing her instantly. I’m a terrible dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 2 555

Strongjaw wobbled

By Anonymous - 19/02/2026 03:00

Today, my brother woke up from a 14 month coma and apparently the first thing he said was, “Where'd my muscles go?” Now, while I get the situation was serious, I couldn’t help but picture Grog from Vox Machina saying almost exactly the same thing, and I laughed. Mom slapped the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 158

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 16:00 - United States - East Islip

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 836

Worst teeth in the game

By Anonymous - 02/04/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 83

Not my problem

By I cleaned it...slowly... - 27/01/2026 03:00

Today, someone (we don't know who) put a very massive and noticeable graffiti "mural" in the bathroom at my workplace. Guess who's job it was to clean it? If you said me, you'd be wrong. However, the guy whose job it was got distracted and didn't do it, so it became my job after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 84

Online classes can be tricky

By Daniella - 12/11/2020 05:03 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 195

Fussy

By annie - 09/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my daughter refuses to make eye contact, won’t eat any of the food I make, and still throws tantrums in middle school. I have no idea where I went wrong raising the brat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 337

Hot take review just in

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 10:00

Today, after nearly three hours of watching the new Batman movie, I realized that the film was a waste of time and moments of my life that I will never get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 1 075

Trash talking little dude

By Proud momma - 03/11/2024 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 203

Carded

By Anonymous - 09/02/2026 03:00

Today, I bought an expansion to a card game, only to compare the card backs and realize I've owned a fake copy of the card game for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 103

Family ties

By SadOne - 04/05/2026 22:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I didn't know that my toxic mother went to my sister's house. I called her, and she said to my sister while on the call to me, "She's so loud and always disturbing me." I cut the call and stopped talking to her. She's mad now and my dad's scolding me for hurting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 84

The opposite of Stars Hollow

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I recently moved to a new place. People around me here have been ignoring me from day one. It feels awkward and embarrassing to not get response when i talk to them. I'm an extrovert but still I can't cope up with this behavior. It's like they are observing my moves, and it's kind of creepy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 161

Kids love repetition

By not the stuffies - 29/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, for the third day in a row, I was taking care of my girlfriend's kid. I love him, but if I have to play one more game of "Stuffy Hide and Seek", I'm going to rip my hair out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 170

Why though?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 03:00

Today, my best friend of over 16 years is getting married. I was supposed to be her Maid of Honor. Instead I was uninvited a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 100

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 12:00

Today, I got denied for the second job I thought I had lined up, because I’m technically related to the manager. I’ve only met her once in my life before today. The other was due to a hiring freeze. My unemployment is almost out and these are the only two calls I’ve got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 61

Open up

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my building installed a fingerprint scanner for the front door. Feeling futuristic, I pressed my thumb to unlock it while carrying groceries. The scanner rejected me five times in a row because I’d cut my thumb slicing bagels earlier that day. A neighbor watched me fail repeatedly before asking, “Do you actually live here?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 89

Tay-Tay rules

By Not a swiftie - 20/04/2024 22:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I realised my girlfriend likes to play Taylor Swift whenever she wants me to leave her alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 175

Checked out

By Anonymous - 09/03/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I finally got my ass into gear and went to the DMV to renew my driver's license. I waited in line for over two hours, only to find out that I had brought my library card instead of my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 031

Anerrhíphthō kýbos

By AllGreekToMe - 02/02/2022 20:01 - United States - Bloomington

Today, when I selected my classes last semester, I could have taken my required-to-graduate foreign language classes on something doable like Spanish. Instead, not knowing what I was getting into, I selected Classical Greek. It's too late to change my language and my uninformed choice is going to cost me my degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 401

Zonked out

By Anonymous - 15/05/2026 00:00 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I got my ass kicked by my boss at work. Why? Because I missed my shift on Saturday, because I slept through my alarms and the phone calls from my co-workers, and I woke up three hours later in a state of panic. This is all because of a medicine I'm on for migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 99

BEHAVE!

By Reeve of the Shires - 23/04/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and I were arguing, and my wife yelled at us that the reason we don't get along is because we have identical personalities. She then kicked us out until we learn to get along, so we're sleeping in the freezing caravan, sharing a blanket that's only 6 feet wide and was last used for the cat to give birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 293

Can't we just get along?

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to host a “non-political” BBQ with extended family. Despite my best efforts to avoid politics being brought up, within 30 minutes someone brought up swing states, voter suppression, and deepfake campaign ads. The hamburgers were barely defrosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 153

I'm never talking to strangers again

By Anonymous - 28/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I attempted to compliment a stranger’s sweater by saying, "Wow, that looks cozy!" However, I said it way louder than intended, and they thought I was mocking them. I’ve never seen someone put on a jacket so fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 160

Bad start, bad end

By Sarah - 02/01/2026 00:00

Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 63

By kebaby - 19/06/2010 23:19 - United States

Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 191

Congratulations, you played yourself

By What have I done - 19/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 356

Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?

By poopface82 - 06/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 138

Time wasted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my new manager, who I have spent the last three months training, had a managers' meeting and now won't be returning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 69

Hydraulic failure

By Louis - 01/12/2025 22:00

Today, I joined a work call feeling confident, until my chair slowly sank mid-meeting. I tried to discreetly readjust, but the chair hissed and dropped me two inches every few seconds until only my eyes were visible above the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 68

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The Top

Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 431

You deserved it 3 325

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 199

You deserved it 6 433

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 443

You deserved it 1 964

Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 025

You deserved it 2 585

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 895

You deserved it 8 370

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 2 129