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The all-time greatest FMLs

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 08:02

Today, I discovered that my work's new phone system automatically takes people off hold the very second you pick up the phone. I discovered this after picking up the phone and complaining to my workmates about the annoying customer I had on the line for a full minute, all while he listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 2 640

Some girls are bigger than others

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend is pissed at me and crying that I bodyshamed her. She wants to do that cutesy shit of wearing my clothes and hoodies but she outweighs me by more than 50lbs. I’ve offered to buy her hoodies and spray my cologne on them for her, but I guess that’s not good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 124

Be honest

By Anonymous - 22/11/2021 08:01

Today, I’m gay but I'm currently on a date with a woman, because when we met yesterday, I was slightly tipsy and thought she was a dude when I asked her out. Plus she said her name is Max, but in the sober light of today, I realised she’s a very tomboyish lady with no boobs. Help me somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 1 822

By Bart - 03/07/2015 04:32 - France - Lille

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 70

Hang in there, brother

By Asiral - 23/11/2023 21:00 - Romania - Suceava

Today, I can't stand my body anymore. I can't do anything about it because I could be kicked out and I'm stuck with long hair and a body that feels like the wrong kind of fat. My mother threatened to kick me out if I cut my hair, even if it's my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 189

Get out of the garage

By lq87 - 09/08/2023 01:00 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I realized my fiance would rather sit in the garage and get high than spend any time with me. I can't remember the last time we had sex and I don't know what to do at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 147

Quietly overjoyed

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I think my boyfriend of 5 years is going to propose soon. He told me he was thinking about it last year, and spoke to his parents, who said they wouldn't attend the wedding as "It's not their thing." My dad passed away in November and I don't talk to my mum, so I have no one to be excited with and share the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 105

I'm not loving it

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out why my husband insists on only taking our kids to the McDonald’s a 15-minute drive away instead of the one two minutes down the street. It’s where his ex works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 118

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 10:30 - India - Kolkata

Today, I'm watching another teen TV show, taking me back to my childhood, which sucked in a million ways, being the poorest and ugliest nerd with an evil father. I never enjoyed a day of my childhood, teenage or school. Grades were a life and death situation, because education was the only way out of that hell hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 164

It's the big T

By Annoyed - 28/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment building to drive to work. I walked up to my car when I noticed someone had written "FUCK ELON" on the hood. I guess some protesters can't spell, which explains how they'd confused "Toyota" for "Tesla." FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 75

Light bulb moment

By stupid!!! - 02/09/2020 19:58

Today, my lamp wouldn’t turn on. I spent a good 10 minutes looking for a replacement bulb before I thought to check if it was plugged in. It wasn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 1 127

By I'm disgusting - 26/05/2019 22:11

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 3 261

Olde timey reddish flagge

By Red flag? - 22/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was all set to attend my first renaissance faire ever. I took forever customizing the perfect costume and I couldn’t wait. My boyfriend on the other hand was pissed that it was too revealing, so he left me standing at the front gate, refused to give me my ticket, and went in without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 101

His type

By anon - 23/09/2024 20:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mom stared at me throughout dinner before finally blurting out, "I'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that you look just like his ex!" It turns out I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 81

Blocked and reported

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 151

Celebrate the small things

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my wife said that her cup of coffee was the best part of her week. We celebrated our nineteenth anniversary this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 152

Why though?

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I asked my parents why we hadn't been out to eat as a family for so long. Both mom and dad agreed, so we made plans to go have breakfast at the Waffle House. Upon arriving, Dad threw a tantrum in the restaurant over nothing, and insisted on yelling at us the entire time. Guess I got my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 116

Spooked

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my husband wasn’t paying attention, he gave our 6 year-old his Netflix instead of the kid safe settings, so she watched a very gory horror film that has given her nightmares, so I now haven’t slept in 5 nights because of it. My husband face sleeps soundly through her screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 161

RIP in peace

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 09/05/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I got to find out for myself if dying in a dream causes you to die in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 192

Ignore the void

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 13:00 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 116

What she said

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 10:00

Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 548

Occasional criminal

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 10:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I put my travel cup of coffee on the shelf behind me while getting a haircut. When I left, I picked up my coffee and cell phone. A block later, the barber had chased me down to get his cell phone back. Yep, I had two phones in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 294

The value of labor

By Chad - 28/09/2024 20:00 - Belgium

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 92

By Anonyme - 11/08/2012 07:20 - France - La Maxe

Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I asked if it was for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 152

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 12/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife complained about her job and brought up an idea to start our own business and move out of this small town. It was the exact same idea I got yelled at for bringing up 15+ years ago. Now my health is bad, near retirement, and can't get off insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 88

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 27/11/2023 10:00

Today, after I moved in with my best friend a year ago, living with her and her boyfriend for over 3 months, I couldn’t handle them fighting so I moved out 9 months later. She cheated on her boyfriend with a coworker and is now moving in with me, so, "We can live like wild teenagers." We’re both 30 and I’m not single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 220

Running commentary

By lukey101 - 25/06/2020 17:02

Today, the Snapchat that I was taking of my car being washed, including my commentary like, "Oooh yeah, get into it baby," was replayed loudly through my car via Bluetooth while the workers were inside and all around washing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 2 092

Nice

By Screwed - 28/12/2025 03:00

Today, I'm diagnosed with a terminal liver cancer. I live abroad, away from my family, so I called them and asked them to come visit me, possibly for the last time. I even offered to pay for the travel both ways. The mother, with a quite indifferent tone, declined my offer and hung up the fuckin' phone on me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 75

Golden child

By Anonymous - 12/12/2024 16:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my 8 year-old sister tried vaping. My parents found out and planned on yelling at her, but nothing happened. She even got a reward for being curious. When I was 15 and got my first piercing (in the ear) I kinda got beat, and slept outside for the night. It makes me wonder what's going on sometimes… FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 98

Preferential treatment

By Anonymous - 27/01/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I bought my house, my dad forced me to do all the DIY with him because I needed to know how to do it myself, but my sister just bought her house and not only did dad hire tradesmen to do a lot of the work, he forced me to do a lot of it as well. Never before have I wished I was a girl too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 244

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The Top

Today, my in-laws told me, in all seriousness, that my kid was going to end up paralyzed because I let him play on grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 089

You deserved it 169

Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 693

You deserved it 2 882

Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 1 186

Today, our stupid pediatrician gave an anal suppository for our toddler's consistent tummy ache. She is NEVER constipated and passes stools regularly twice a day. Guess who had to hold down a 3-year-old and put in the medicine - which did not help with the tummy ache. I can't live with myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 380

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 862

You deserved it 301

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 216

You deserved it 7 834