Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML
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Top comments
AlaskanG 27
Locks help with that as well.
Steven696 6
The half glass full approach, I like it
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Comments (63)
AlaskanG 27
Locks help with that as well.
hard_candy 25
maybe it was broken. I've literally been in a public restroom where every single lock was broken, but I have pushed my foot against the door too, to avoid being walked in on.
coming back in the future 30
OP is looking on the "plus" side.
MeanBeagle 22
attitude is "larger" than life.
Ichiya 29
I had someone slide under the locked door and halfway into the stall with me before realizing it was occupied.
randome101 12
I've been to one where there were no doors... Crazy
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
The boys locker room at the middle school I went to didn't have doors on the stalls. And yes, guys did take ***** in them. All the time.
wallamanut 14
is it weird that even in public restrooms I always knock before going into a stall?
coming back in the future 30
OP is looking on the plus side.
CrownedHellbound 11
Haha I suppose they would. That sounds embarrassing though, OP. :/
coming back in the future 30
No "shit" sherLOCK.*Ba Dun Tss*
DippinGrizzly907 27
That might of been punny if you didn't feel the need to point your (quite sad) joke out with ""these"" or by doing THIS...
vipirius 18
And if not for the fact that every variation of that pun has been posted here 6374 times already.
Dekat121 24
you mean quotation marks and using capital letters?
paigexox0 37
I almost feel like fat rolls that large would be more alarming...
Dekat121 24
how large do you think fat rolls need to be to cover a ******? OP is a girl.
paigexox0 37
Big enough lol
Steven696 6
The half glass full approach, I like it
MeanBeagle 22
well.. toilet was half full
jbombdighetty 11
why the downvotes on 35?I thought it was hilarious.
MeanBeagle 22
it was at 7+ Lol.
MrCareless 17
Well that must've been awkward. Good thing the rolls hid your private parts.. Consider locking the door next time will you?
Earths_Venus 25
Unfortunately they also hide your privates during other slightly more pleasant activities :(
kerstileann 26
that old fml "my boyfriend had to lift a roll to enter me" comes to mind.
Raxal 21
Assuming that the door didn't have a lock, hasn't the person who entered ever heard of knocking before entering?
itwontvalidate 18
still not something you'd wanna see though, if someone walked in on that they'd probably be just as scarred
coming back in the future 30
They must be pretty big then. Or your private parts might be small.
soullyfe 33
Or OP is a female...
scottyboy417 19
Not sure that's entirely a fair trade but whatever floats your boat. Nice to see you are staying positive.