Today, my girlfriend stopped in the middle of sex because she had sudden inspiration about what colour to repaint our bedroom, and wanted to find the colour name online before she forgot it. By the time she was done, I’d gone soft and grumpy, and she got mad I didn’t want to finish having sex anymore. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML
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Top comments
Lost Reggie 22
Should have carried on and painted the wall for her.
Wadlaen 24
You can't have it all. Some times you have to choose: Find the color for the bedroom or reach ****** I'm sorry for your experience!
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Comments (3)
Lost Reggie 22
Should have carried on and painted the wall for her.
Wadlaen 24
You can't have it all. Some times you have to choose: Find the color for the bedroom or reach ****** I'm sorry for your experience!
Chazzster 32
I’m guessing GF has ADHD? … I assume there are things you like about GF which is why she’s not an ex… There were a few times my now wife would have a particularly good ****** when I went down on her and then she fell asleep - Leaving me frustrated. But there were things I liked about her enough and this was infrequent enough that I still married her. In life, shit happens sometimes - You either go on from there or make another plan.