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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Wanaaa - 25/11/2016 07:08 - France - Toulouse

Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 127

Godammit Ursula!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my sister has been telling people I’ve been dead for the last 3 months, to cover up the fact she used me to commit identity fraud. We’re identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 80

Desperate

By Anonymous - 23/03/2021 14:01 - Luxembourg - Luxembourg

Today, I tried to find a job. Again. It's been seven years since I earned more than 70€ in a month, seven years since I moved back in with my parents, and seven years since I was registered as having a medical disability. Nobody wants me, not even as a shelf stacker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 08/09/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels… or toilet paper… or soap. I'm really sticky right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 5 882

Not the one

By LOSER - 23/05/2022 00:00

Today, an ex-boyfriend of mine came to the jewelry store I work at to pick out an engagement ring for his girlfriend. The same guy who just a few months earlier ended our 8-year relationship because I wanted marriage and he didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 139

One man band

By Anonymous - 27/09/2022 01:30 - United States

Today, my bandmates showed up to our gig drunk. Our drummer kept losing the rhythm and the lead guitarist was more concerned about staying drunk than playing the right notes. In the middle of a song, they both gave up, put down their instruments, and kept sipping a beer, while at least cheering me on while I finished it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 138

But I need it!

By InDebted - 02/05/2022 02:00 - United States - Kula

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 188

Check your head

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 20:00

Today, I had a real coffee again after being sick for two weeks. It didn't taste so good, though. Just like the one I had yesterday. Well, I thought, maybe my taste has changed? Maybe I just need to get used to it again? No, it was just that the milk had gone bad three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 931

Don't knock it until you try it

By Pinsky - 08/12/2021 16:59

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 408

Teenage jealousy

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 16:00

Today, we missed our flights to our dream honeymoon destination, which we were lucky to get with so many flight cancellations, because my selfish stepdaughter anonymously called the airline to report us for drug smuggling, all because I married her dad this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 992

Patriotic ass

By lancus - 07/06/2020 14:06

Today, my 6-year-old daughter and I were leaving a swimming pool when we passed the front desk, where there was a Canadian flag. She said, "Look daddy! A maple leaf! Just like on your ass!” I forgot that she knew about my tattoo and the flag. We ran out as people burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 752

Misery likes company

By Destiny Wells Conner - 11/06/2022 18:00

Today, I told my friends that I got a therapist this past week. Every single one of them told me to quit seeing the therapist, and to just talk to them and do more drugs to feel more numb. I don't think that's the right thing to do, and they're actually arguing with me over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 133

Never enough

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend bitched about the fact that I hadn't purchased parking to attend the football game I got us tickets for as his birthday present ($750). I purchased parking for $190 and now he’s bitching that I didn’t buy pregame passes - another $170! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 179