Sex, Embarrassing and Sextoys: Mortified

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 282

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 255

You deserved it 12 871

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 271

Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 285

You deserved it 15 006

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 298

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 824

You deserved it 4 445

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 378

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 543

You deserved it 5 186

Mortified

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 189

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 502

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 900

You deserved it 248

Marcella1016 31

Wednesday 18 November 2020 8:24

Remove batteries? Unless...holy crap did you remove them?! I could see this being a new horror movie franchise. They’ve done possessed dolls, clowns, cars, ******* everything...but now we get to fear our own vibrators. *Coming this fall...this vibrator will make you SHUDDER* Good luck with your possessed vibrator, OP.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 18 November 2020 15:56

On the contrary, your vibrator is top quality because it accurately emulates a man. If you don't use us when we're ready, we'll go off by ourselves.

Comments

Marcella1016 31

Wednesday 18 November 2020 8:24

sarsuela 29

Wednesday 18 November 2020 9:21

Sometimes you need a screwdriver to remove batteries. At least it was OP's friend who witnessed this and not mom or dad.

jfigley 5

Wednesday 18 November 2020 20:18

Thats hilarious, I can't imagine a movie like that coming out

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 18 November 2020 15:56

On the contrary, your vibrator is top quality because it accurately emulates a man. If you don't use us when we're ready, we'll go off by ourselves.

Magoozala 15

Thursday 19 November 2020 2:18

I actually clicked on this posting just to see if you'd commented. Your comment is humorous, but, considering the subject matter, a bit tame.

HokieJ 10

Wednesday 18 November 2020 17:57

When the dresser is a shaking, your legs are a quaking!

Chazzster 29

Thursday 19 November 2020 1:39

Brookstone has some of the best quality vibrators (they are still in business on line) - They call them “massagers”. Wherever you buy, quality is almost always worth spending more for.