Gratitude

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 23:01

Today, I'm an introvert and told my girlfriend explicitly that all I wanted for my birthday was to sit quietly and read my new Discworld book. She took this to mean invite everyone within 50 miles for a massive party, and afterwards was surprised that I was pissed as hell and not speaking to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 025
You deserved it 216

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You're dating an extrovert. This won't end well. Opposites attract only applies to magnets and electric charges. For people, it's a disaster.

Nah. There's 'lets hang out with a couple of friends this weekend for a bit' compromises on a day to day basis and blatantly ignoring someone's explicitly stated wishes about what they want, especially for their birthday.

Comments

You're dating an extrovert. This won't end well. Opposites attract only applies to magnets and electric charges. For people, it's a disaster.

Try to keep in mind she meant well. Show a little grace on your birthday.

Nah. There's 'lets hang out with a couple of friends this weekend for a bit' compromises on a day to day basis and blatantly ignoring someone's explicitly stated wishes about what they want, especially for their birthday.

wysegirl 22

She's trying to open you up to a new world. it's good to be an introvert but there are going to be times you will have to get out of your comfort zone. Knowing your mindframe I think she invited to many people but expanding your horizon isn't a bad thing. Now teach her your ways as an introvert.

Hi, it was your birthday, but her party. Should she not understand you, your relationship will be challenging for you. BR

EDIT: I've tried breaking this down into multiple paragraphs for readability for 5 minutes now, and can't get empty lines no matter what I try. Sorry this is a wall of text. A book that profoundly helped my marriage-- maybe even saved it-- was "The Introvert Advantage", by Marti Laney. I am an introvert, my wife is not. We both read the book, and it led to so many positive changes in our feelings, how we interacted, etc. I blamed myself for a lot of stuff that turns out just to be due to the way my brain is wired-- not personality, not willpower, not empathy, just, literally, differences in my brain that you can see in an MRI scan. Things I had no idea were part of having an introvert brain, like how irritating I find it to be interrupted-- I always just chalked that up to me being an asshole. Reading this book helped me feel better about myself, while also giving strategies about how to work with my wife to minimize the impact on me, and minimize how hurtful my response is to her. On the other side of the coin, her reading the book was just as important, maybe even more important. She just did not understand, did not 'get', how differently I experience the world than she does. Instead of trying to change the way I feel, we were able to work together to come up with solutions to help us both recognize the way I feel, and navigate healthy ways to deal with those feelings in the context of our marriage. It also pointed out to her some of the advantages she was reaping by being married to an introvert, which I guess wasn't a huge deal, but was a nice side-benefit. After reading that book, it would have never, ever, in a million years, ever have occur to my wife to throw me a surprise party, I can tell you that!