By Chelsea - 27/02/2013 22:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 967
You deserved it 2 663

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Next time throw your closed fist at his face.


Next time throw your closed fist at his face.

Similar thing happened to my neighbor. The guy was homeless and was trying to steal his bike. My neighbor did a citizens arrest but would have knocked the crap out of the thief, if he wasn't a teacher.

Pull out that concealed handgun and put two in his head!

Killing someone for attempted theft of a bike? Is it like, a $20,000 bike? Couple of well placed blows would do fine...

You should have tried to give him a citizens arrest. My friend Brooke would:)

eh its whatever i usually post random gibberish this late because I can't think of anything intelligent to say and on top of that I can't sleep. I could care less what people think. I just want to see if she will end up reading this. Brooke if you are just wanted to say you're an awesome person and friend, thank you for being there for me.

We thank people who may or may not be reading our comments now? First of all, I'd like to thank my- Oh wait, no, we don't.

enormouselephant 15

I'd like to thank my mom, who has always been there for me! My dad. My brothers, NOah, JUAN and sister CARAHs. The mailman for always delivering on time! And wow, the list goes on..

over half my comments get thumbed up anyway, don't give 2 cents tonight. I wonder how many thumbs down I can get:)

hellobobismyname 24

Pickles1994, I think you keep commenting because you're still hoping for a thumbs up somewhere. Your nonchalance seems... Rather forced. Just my two cents.

I don't know what nationality OP is, but in Canada I think you can only do a citizen's arrest when you find someone committing an indictable (more serious than bike theft) offence, or they're being "freshly pursued" by lawful authority.

33- nope, 37- your acting as if I'm a bad friend? How is that even relevant? 44- nah it doesn't need to be an indictable offense, I took law class.

Well, S.494 of the Criminal Code states that; "Any one may arrest without a warrant (a) a person whom he finds committing an indictable offence; OR (b) a person who, on reasonable grounds, he believes (i) has committed a criminal offence AND (ii) is escaping from and freshly pursued by persons who have lawful authority." So, in this case, yes, it does have to be an indictable offence.

Please for the love of all things holy never comment ever again

It would have been acceptable in my opinion had it been coke.

Are we sure it wasn't soy-a-sauce? *soy sauce ~Looks can be deceiving~

What a gent. What a nice lady. What a good husband. I'm starting to see a pattern in your comments...

He should audition for Who's line is it anyway! You should lock your bike up a little better.

They need to bring the show back first ):

chinchily 12

They have a new version on GSN. I haven't watched it, but I here is just alike, with some differences.

vadaaa 11

"Just alike, with some differences." Just alike. With some differences.

hey c'mon, you're about to start a cola flame war over here

Mexican coca-cola is supreme. Real cane sugar, and comes is a fabulous glass bottle that says MEDIO LITRO on it. mm tasty.

Can they impound bicycles?, just wondering really b/c that would be kinda funny