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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 18:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 189

Exhausted

By snoozes - 16/11/2021 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 261

Should be interesting at the office tomorrow…

By confused_lemon - 04/06/2019 00:00

Today, I got thrown out by a guy I really like, with the words, "Can you leave me the fuck alone, please?" I took my stuff and left as quickly as I could, just to fall down the stairs on his doorway, and twist my ankle really bad. He's someone from work as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 687

Adapt, overcome, improvise

By Amy - 06/03/2020 07:00

Today, I was squeezed through an overly-crowded hallway down to my psychologist's. There, I sat in an overly-crowded waiting room to see him, next to an obese woman and an insane man. I finally entered the smaller-than-a-closet room. My reason for seeing a psychologist? Claustrophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 183

Now you tell me!

By IdPreferNotThanks - 05/09/2022 15:30

Spicy

Today, my fiancée told me I'm not her type, and that my touch is repulsive. We've been living together for over a year, and have been together for over four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 184

By ahhhhhhh - 30/07/2019 14:00

Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 638

By tyrettes - 11/08/2019 20:00

Today, I started a new yard maintenance job. Before the day had even ended, I got fired, because I apparently didn’t have enough experience, and I moved too slowly. It was supposed to be my training day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 230

Road rage

By ari - 27/07/2019 20:00

Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 196

Sludge factory

By fmyactuallife - 03/05/2020 08:00

Today, I'm on my second day of a week of antibiotics to treat a bad urine infection. Incidentally, the pills seem to be giving me extremely loud, frequent, gut-wrenchingly painful and smelly diarrhea. Only 5 more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 134

Rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, I had to pay an exorbitant fee to get my drain unblocked. It turns out it was about a million condoms. My son just got his first serious girlfriend and apparently instead of throwing them in the bin, he flushes their used condoms down the toilet. I’m gonna kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 251

By @Skmermaid - 12/10/2018 20:00

Today, I'm learning how to manually drain a washing machine. #FML @Skmermaid

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 220

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 344

Just a prank, dad

By Anonymous - 11/09/2020 17:01

Today, my son got drunk and managed to colour in my bald patch with permanent marker while I was asleep. It’s super noticeable and I look like a complete prat. Plus in a few hours, I’m supposed to be on my first date since my divorce 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 177

Slicy slicy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 987

By Anonymous - 09/08/2019 20:00

Today, my boss came to see me because he'd heard that I was homeless. I'm not homeless, and the rumour was started by a friend of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 123

Logic 101

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 17:01 - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 298

Here we go again

By Anonymous - 24/06/2019 00:17

Today, after I got pregnant 22 years ago and my husband became way too overprotective, to the point where he became a right pain in the ass, I’m now accidentally pregnant again. It turns out my now 22-year-old son is almost as bad as his dad was. Now I’ve got two of the sods to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 571

Spotted

By Bec99 - 19/04/2020 17:00

Today, the pimples on my face are finally clearing up. They seem to have migrated to my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 146

Wokescolds arise!

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 19:59

Today, my ex-boyfriend who is now transitioning to female, called me transphobic for dumping them, and now most of my 'friends' hate me and I've garnered an awful reputation because of it. I guess they 'forgot' I broke up with them because they cheated on me, and also forgot the fact that I myself am trans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 1 725

Spooky season has begun

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 164

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 549

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 14:15

Today, I walked into work on time, went into my office, sat down and turned on the computer. After working for about 4 hours, my wife called and told me to look at the clock on my computer. I put it off until after lunch, when I realized today is Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 1 365

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 214

Thug life

By secretagentsam00 - 31/03/2020 23:00

Today, I found out my dog is a felon. He broke into a neighbor's house by breaking in through the screen door. He also vandalized their property by shitting on their carpet. Our neighbors are now considering suing us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 572

Medicare for all

By Chad - 06/09/2020 19:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I had to have emergency work done on my teeth after I seized in the shower and smashed my face into the tub. Apparently, the dental insurance I'd been paying for but had never used ended its coverage 4 days ago, because my job was no longer working with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 105

On time

By Anonymous - 28/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Oakland

Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 1 081

Movie night

By heartbrokenl12453 - 27/10/2019 12:00

Today, my girlfriend decided that the best place to break up with me was during a movie about two couples breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 06:07 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 414

My eyes! My eyes!

By bleach for my eyes please - 07/03/2021 17:01

Spicy

Today, I found out the hard way that my sister has an OnlyFans. Not judging sex workers, I just really wish I’d know she goes by a stage name before I opened the clip. The things I’ve seen… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 449

Unwarranted

By Varnpike - 18/12/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I was messaging memes back and forth with one of my female coworkers and I accidentally sent a picture of my junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 6 671

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Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 628

You deserved it 3 114

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 793

You deserved it 3 421

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 738

You deserved it 12 830

Today, I finally found out why I never got invited to parties in college. My fellow students considered me too ambitious to want to do anything but study hard. The reason they thought that? I tended to be present and on time for classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 138

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 418

Today, I was trying to be a responsible adult and check my credit score. I accidentally mistyped my password five times, got locked out, and had to call customer service. They asked me so many security questions, I started questioning my own identity (and sanity). FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 174