Today, I got pushed around by several suspicious mothers in a playground. I just wanted to sit down and rest my feet while I waited for my wife to finish her shopping across the street. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML
Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, it was a pretty nice day so I decided I would take a walk through the park to get to work instead of driving. Healthier and better for the planet, right? Wrong. Some little bratty kids were bored apparently and decided to hide behind trees and peg me with water balloons. FML
Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML
Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML
Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sinshine 28
What did they think you'd do? Kidnap their kids in front of their eyes?
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
Paranoid much?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
Paranoid much?
Mathalamus 25
Better safe than sorry, I guess is what the mothers live by.
Sinshine 28
What did they think you'd do? Kidnap their kids in front of their eyes?
RichardPencil 32
You fit the profile of a pedophile. This is how white guys get to see how hurtful profiling is.
bl3ur0z3 17
Pushed around up? Do you even English, bro?
Surewhatever 36
I do think you need to clarify what you mean by "pushed around." To me this isn't sounding very FML...
JackFaire 27
In the US if an Adult Male goes to a park by himself that children are present at no matter where you are in the park there are moms that will assume you're a pedophile no matter what. They will then harass you until you leave the park in the best case and in the worst actually call the cops on you claiming you were ogling their children.